Poetry Forum

he writes of forgotten things.
a raincoat left, sodden, on a bus seat.
A bike, well loved, one wheel
chained to an underpass
a birthday card to Daryl on death row,
unsent.
the wilting aspidistra in the
bay sash window
and now, he writes about you
on your childhood swing,
your sinewy tanned arms
and your thin white legs
working in tandem
dissimulating memories.

I like it but i don't know why i like it.

Tony

Like that word dissimulating, gives a licence to write whatever, which is a tempting freedom. The disconnect, or imbalance, between arms/legs also let me into the poem. Some sense of neglect, some spread of ups and downs (money to have a bike, in a place where acquisition is take what you can...the one wheel chained was a great image). death row makes me think of US, so I googled Daryl in that context. Took me away from the UK.

The word ‘dissimulating‘ also gives the reader the freedom to open and link up the image.

Enjoyed this poem.

Cheers,

Tristan

Very good. Kris. I'd prefer
a sodden raincoat, left on a bus seat.

and Death Row should be capitalised, if you really need it at all.

This reads like a bit of a lament, like if you were one of Karl Ove Knausgaard's childhood friends.

I like it, as I like much of what you write, Kris.

I hope you're doing well.

Thank yawl kindly.

T

I like it but i don't know why i like it.

That's cool and my default position on poems I like. I find it much easier reasoning why I dislike poems, which doesn't make for a good critter, only a disagreeable one!

Mac,

Yes, dissimulating was very handy in this instance.

death row makes me think of US

You are right of course, I was aiming to use disparate images/imagery but may have strayed too far...

Tristan

A second vote for the use of dissimulating thanks.

Ray,

I'd prefer a sodden raincoat, left on a bus seat.

That would enable a smoother read, but I prefer the stop. start. And yes Death Row needs attending to or extinguishing.

Travis,

Fine to hear from you old boy, hope all is well with you? I've had cancer! So that's something ticked off the Bucket list. All good now though.

Very recently I was looking into 'My Struggle' coincidentally it seemed to crop up like a word you've never heard before, but then appears constantly. I admit to being discouraged by the negative reviews (which is lame on my behalf) What is your opinion? Is it or the series worth a read?

Cheers
Kris

camus wrote: ↑

Fri May 17, 2024 8:17 pm

Thank yawl kindly.

Fine to hear from you old boy, hope all is well with you? I've had cancer! So that's something ticked off the Bucket list. All good now though.

Very recently I was looking into 'My Struggle' coincidentally it seemed to crop up like a word you've never heard before, but then appears constantly. I admit to being discouraged by the negative reviews (which is lame on my behalf) What is your opinion? Is it or the series worth a read?

Shit, man. I'm glad you made it through. Truly. It's better to dodge it entirely, but next best thing, right?

My father died somewhat recently from cancer. They threw what they had at it, but he lost. I imagine they bought him a bit more time than if he had gotten sick, say, 20 years ago. If you're going to get cancer, better to get it "now" I suppose.

Knausgaard's My Struggle...
...is so fucking boring that your ears might start spontaneously flapping from time to time in an attempt to fly you away from whichever of the 6 books you're currently clutching. And yet, at the same time, the series is utterly captivating. Or at least I thought so.

How am I doing? Decent. Married. Kids. Three dogs. Not starving. Just waiting to be turned into a paperclip by a rogue, paperclip maximizing AI.

We live in novel and interesting times...