paper dolls stare down from the shelf
ever watching,
the blue bedspread pulled straight
thomas-tankengine faces smiling,
the constant breeze is gone,
the dust has settled
toy trucks litter the floor.
blue
really enjoy the precise images created here.
I do feel that "the constant breeze is gone" is your impact line...your last line. I've restructured the poem to show how this might be done.
<i>paper dolls stare down from the shelf
ever watching,
the blue bedspread pulled straight<b>,</b>
thomas-tankengine faces smiling.
toy trucks litter the floor,
the dust has settled,
the constant breeze is gone.</i>
I do feel that "the constant breeze is gone" is your impact line...your last line. I've restructured the poem to show how this might be done.
<i>paper dolls stare down from the shelf
ever watching,
the blue bedspread pulled straight<b>,</b>
thomas-tankengine faces smiling.
toy trucks litter the floor,
the dust has settled,
the constant breeze is gone.</i>
Paper dolls stare down from the shelf
ever watching.
the blue bedspread pulled straight,
Thomas-tankengine faces smiling.
toy trucks littler the floor,
the dust has settled,
the constant breeze is gone.
yes i like it better this way, too, maybe i just need someone to have another look at it for me to relise this
ever watching.
the blue bedspread pulled straight,
Thomas-tankengine faces smiling.
toy trucks littler the floor,
the dust has settled,
the constant breeze is gone.
yes i like it better this way, too, maybe i just need someone to have another look at it for me to relise this