Poetry Forum

The dream died with the morning’s shout,
my opened eyes just scanned the void,
then a voice asked,
“Were you so annoyed by all the little scratches?”

It was the constant clicks of latches,
the sulphurous choke of striking matches,
and leprous light through grey web curtains
that brought this scene to a close.
No appreciative applause
(just scratching dogs behind closed doors)
as I stumbled from the fourth floor flat.

I noticed ‘welcome’ woven in the mat
as the front door spat me out.

Better, much better.

You are are good at this stuff, I suspect it comes extempore. Immediately striking and understandable.

Perfect description of waking up in a strange place.

Well done Leyther.

man...

man....

I loved this.

What I like most about this is the way you use rhyme to great effect
without letting it tie you down. You just dive in and out, or not, as you
see fit .

Shout - flat - mat - spat - out !

(One of my guitar heroes, Albert Lee, was once asked about his "style".
He denied he had one, saying that he never stuck on one thing long
enough)

Is this another memory from your student days - late night, missed bus,
"crashing" in someone's flat?

Great stuff
Geoff

Thanks Minstrel, Caleb; Geoff - you got the gist, not exactly about missing the last bus - but there was always something missing in those situations.

cheers all

Barrie

I really enjoyed this - it captures the subtlety of feelings - the details - sounds, smells - it's all here.

The final two lines juxtapose warmth against rejection so beautifully.

Thank you.

Thanks for the comments Lemony, much appreciated.

Geoff. It was about all the mornings that I woke up in strange beds when I was single and irresponsible, on the loose in the big city (well, Bradford). Every exit didn't go so smoothly - thereby hangs another tale or two (or poems).

Barrie

Nice one Barrie. Loved it. "Leprous light through grey net curtains" - nice company you kept back then. Reminded me of crashing on whoever's place happened to be the easiest to get to after the clubs in Manchester about 30 years ago - checking for flea bites and "things" when I got home for a bath - lovely
Superb.
mick.

Thanks Mick - Hope it didn't start you off itching again.

Which part of Manchester are you from?

Barrie

I'm from a town called Ashton-u-Lyne, about 6 miles East of Manchester. The only itch I got was to return to one of those nights (one of the ones without flea bites of course), but those days are long gone. Good of you to bring it all back to me though.
Cheers.
Mick.

Small world Mick

I lived with my grandmother for a couple of years ( I was about two when I first went) at Droylsden - Near the Robertson's jam factory and a pub on the main road called 'The Moss Tavern'. My grandfather was killed in the Ashton Iron Works.

well, well.

Barrie