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[Arcadian]

[figure eight]

I've just got a quick question before thinking about the last stanza further. Is the couplet...

our oars beating violently
on frothy foaming heads

...meant to have a double meaning, refering also to beating the 'frothy heads' of the types of people in the fisrt stanza as well as just waves? I hope so, as I really like the way you tie-up the start and end of the poem in this way. It feels more consistant that way.

[David]

This is a great exhortation, Arco. The fifth line - "in their morose maudlin that bites them mordantly" - is pure Anglo-Saxon in its effect. At least, I think it is. Do you know what I mean? Alliterative, and all that, but the tone and the subject matter as well.

This seems very much what Ulysses would have said to his old crewmates before they set out on their last voyage. I'm thinking of Inferno, canto 26 - are you? It sounds like it.

Good stuff. I salute you.

David

[Arcadian]

Hey David,

Thanks for your comments.

To answer your first question - yes you are right the couplet refers to the people in the first stanza

second question, though I see it now ( maybe it is a good thing) but there is an unfortunate association to Ulysses - the answer is No

the poem was constructed in 10 minutes flat after a "certain person" in PG was offended recently - and so the poem is more about moving on perhaps abandoning prejudices - read craft ( as in the craft of poetry) and beginning a long journey of exploration in this realm

again it is an unfortunate association ...as my mind was on other matters not thinking of Ulysses at all.


thanks for liking it

Arco

[barrie]

I read it as a metaphor poem - an intellectual/spiritual journey - 'jettison the excess baggage' is Zen Buddhism to a tee.

A quest for the spirit - 'the inherent potential', lost knowledge - it's the alchemist in you coming out again Arco.

The first verse is very strong and biting - thou shallt not suffer fools; I tend to agree.

The second verse - I'm not too sure about, I keep coming back to it. But as my old friend Billy Bones told me, it's 'come aboard', as in "Come aboard an' oi'll tell 'ee a tale!"

'to recover some inherent potential
in the mists of the choppy waves;
our oars beating violently
on frothy foaming heads
as we row ahead to the new headlands.' - This is excellent stuff, a strong finish.'

Davids already mentioned probably the most noteworthy line, and F8 the play on words with 'frothy heads'

A poem to think on.

nice one

Barrie

[calxaed]

Hi, liked the first stanza of this a lot, can definitely empathise with what's expressed. Had to read the final stanza a couple of times to catch the sense, you start with an 'if', and I had trouble working out what was the 'then' first time through. Got it eventually though. I'm going to be a contrarian and say I dion't really think the last two lines work, the repetitions of 'head' kind of kill the lines for me.

[dillingworth]

reminds me of the anglo-saxon poem the seafarer- similar use of image of a sea voyage as a kind of virtuous isolation from society. i liked the aggressive misanthropism!