Life and Death - (two englynion)

[barrie]

In life, it’s better not to live too hard,
Easy days, summer hot,
Beer mug full, food in the pot.
Grateful for the poor man’s lot.

Long in death enshrined, shrouded in the soil,
Root bound, with rot endowed,
To earth returned, insect ploughed,
All religions disavowed.

[kozmikdave]

Gidday

These are very well worked out, Barrie.

In the first, the rhyming was simple but I wasn't sure about the word poor in the last line. Too comfortable to be poor perhaps.

Beer mug full, food in the pot.
Grateful for the poor man’s lot.

The rhyming in the second was more complex and had a better feel to it than the first. It had a more olde worlde feel to it - the sort of thing one might read on an epitaph.

Long in death enshrined, shrouded in the soil,
Root bound, with rot endowed,
To earth returned, insect ploughed,
All religions disavowed.


I found very little on this form of verse and it is very basic. Up until now I have only found one example in English, and really no information about the different parts or forms. So almost in your words, "But what's the 'cynghanedd'?" Is it in all forms of the englyn? (I don't even know what form I tried.) There is probably more detailed information somewhere. Perhaps I was just being lazy by not looking in enough places.

Cheers
Dave

[Swing of the sea]

The first one is a bit too "Campaign for Real Ale" for me, but the second one is magic. Although the best phrase in it, in my view, isn't "Long in death enshrined" which to me sounds too "funeral parlour" or is it "stone mason"? The rest of it is perfect and very clever as well.

Cheers

DG

[Jester]

Barrie

I don't give a tinkers whether it's a proper Englyn or not. It's a bloody good read. I can't make head nor tail of the descriptions of englyns I've found.......bet the Germans 'd find it easier. I'm still struggling with my next peculiar sonnet .

Mick

[camus]

What's all this Englyn business then?

[barrie]

Dave and DG - Interesting that you should mention epitaphs and funeral parlours - According to bardic researchers, the englyn forms were derived from the Latin inscriptions on tombstones - Maybe I'm getting there.

Mick - It's supposed to be impossible to write true englyn in English - I certainly wouldn't like to try writing one in German. The different forms of 'cynghanedd' (harmony) are interesting, they serve to complicate things nicely.

Kris - It was just something I (half-jokingly) suggested to Dave when I commented on his villanelle.

Thanks all

Barrie

[Lia]

Both of these are wonderful, Barrie, but my personal favourite is the first.. slightly H E Bates, somehow. You inspired me to try one, though I wasn't completely sure of the rules..

Lia

[barrie]

Thanks Lia - Glad to see that you''ve had a go too. I'm glad Dave took me up on the englyn thing - since he wrote that first one we've had a flurry of activity - I'm surprised that Mick's not tried one, maybe he's working on it.
They are quite complicated when written properly - but that takes years to master. (So the Welsh say).
Maybe I'll work on a 'proper' one.

cheers

Barrie