Roomer
Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:24 am
We advertise our spare room
‘cause the int’rest rate went up.
Some young chap phones because,
he says, at home he feels pent up.
I say we are a fam’ly
and in some ways we are strange.
He says we sound just perfect.
He’ll come by. At time arranged
I offer him a cuppa.
Says he likes his sugar strong.
Tells us all the psych drugs he
took lately – and what went wrong.
Then he reels off sev’ral more.
He outlines the side effects.
My wife, the nurse, is impressed.
I’m getting’ fuckin’ vexed.
His eyes are red – he’d not slept
for days – cramped up in his car.
I make a lame excuse to
go and lock up my guitar.
My famed CD collection
gets transported to my shed.
I hide my Neil Young poster
‘neath the mattress on my bed.
I search and scour the junk drawer.
I am looking for my keys.
While he talks, she just listens.
There goes my best wine - with cheese.
She tells me that I’m silly,
then he sees my nervous tic.
He’s now prescribing Prozac -
said for him it did the trick.
He’s gone to see another.
He’ll ring back with his verdict.
I sit the missus down, and
keen to avoid a conflict,
“If he stays we’ll lose the house!”
I say with deep emotion.
My mental state is fragile.
The rate of compensation
is much lower than my wage.
We can’t afford this roomer.
Things are getting serious!
I’ve lost my sense of humour.
‘cause the int’rest rate went up.
Some young chap phones because,
he says, at home he feels pent up.
I say we are a fam’ly
and in some ways we are strange.
He says we sound just perfect.
He’ll come by. At time arranged
I offer him a cuppa.
Says he likes his sugar strong.
Tells us all the psych drugs he
took lately – and what went wrong.
Then he reels off sev’ral more.
He outlines the side effects.
My wife, the nurse, is impressed.
I’m getting’ fuckin’ vexed.
His eyes are red – he’d not slept
for days – cramped up in his car.
I make a lame excuse to
go and lock up my guitar.
My famed CD collection
gets transported to my shed.
I hide my Neil Young poster
‘neath the mattress on my bed.
I search and scour the junk drawer.
I am looking for my keys.
While he talks, she just listens.
There goes my best wine - with cheese.
She tells me that I’m silly,
then he sees my nervous tic.
He’s now prescribing Prozac -
said for him it did the trick.
He’s gone to see another.
He’ll ring back with his verdict.
I sit the missus down, and
keen to avoid a conflict,
“If he stays we’ll lose the house!”
I say with deep emotion.
My mental state is fragile.
The rate of compensation
is much lower than my wage.
We can’t afford this roomer.
Things are getting serious!
I’ve lost my sense of humour.