It’s not quite right when it rains in a desert, for us
water is not supposed to be heaven sent, it’s sucked
up from the earth, or fluted in on aqueducts or piped
in from far away reservoirs still—
it’s raining now. A cool gentle swath, sweeping
through an audience of savannah plants and scruffy
trees, a liveried priest sprinkling holy water on the
penitent and shriveled masses.
Looking out the window, listening to Kathy’s Song,
watching similar tears collect in a muddy morass—
a young boy grasping for the meanings behind: “There
before the grace of you go I.”
Before the rain over my little corner of desolation
quitted us to water the more worthy, I watched the
lilies kowtow in obeisance, their faces in the mud—
wilted, overwhelmed, awestruck.
I tried to capture their mud-stained faith on plain white
paper, and so, made myself a memory in watercolor—
through the blotchy stained glass of a child’s eye. This way
I came to know Kathy’s Song: by the lilies in the rain.
Lilies in the rain
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desiderata
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i think this a is a really beautiful poem a.s. it really struck me because i have a childhood memory of looking through rain-drenched windows and listening to another simon & garfunkel song:
so I countinue to continue to pretend my life will never end
and flowers never bend with the rainfall
trying to make sense of that idea of transience - in a strange way i think i understood it more then than now, as if it's just an innate connection you have as a child before the brain matures and starts trying to rationalise.....
have to go out but i intend to read it several more times when i get back
desi
so I countinue to continue to pretend my life will never end
and flowers never bend with the rainfall
trying to make sense of that idea of transience - in a strange way i think i understood it more then than now, as if it's just an innate connection you have as a child before the brain matures and starts trying to rationalise.....
have to go out but i intend to read it several more times when i get back
desi
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Bombadil
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"Kathy, I'm lost," I said though I knew she was sleeping.
"I'm empty and aching and I don't know why..."
Top notch song indeed.
Thanks much...both of you.
--Keith
"I'm empty and aching and I don't know why..."
Top notch song indeed.
Thanks much...both of you.
--Keith
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cameron
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Keith old bean.
This is spiffing. No seriously, this could be your best one so far. Like the water theme.
So many good poems being posted at the moment, it's hard to keep up.
Keep up the good work.
Cam
This is spiffing. No seriously, this could be your best one so far. Like the water theme.
So many good poems being posted at the moment, it's hard to keep up.
Keep up the good work.
Cam
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twoleftfeet
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- Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up
Nice work, Keith.
Its always been my equal-first-favourite (along with "America" of course)
Rain seems to bring out the best in songwriters - have you heard
"Eastern Rain" by Joni Mitchell, or "Walking in the Rain" by
Colin Blunstone?
The scene you paint is all the more enjoyable because it is so alien
to us Brits - we are born with wellies on
There was a painter (from Manchester, I think) who actually specialised
in views seen through rainy windows - I kid you not.
My only suggestion is to leave out the first explicit mention of
the song title - just once, at the end, is best (IMHO).
I think "in obeisance" is unnecessary, being already implied by "kowtow"
Geoff
btw isn't it "There but for the grace of you go I"?
Its always been my equal-first-favourite (along with "America" of course)
Rain seems to bring out the best in songwriters - have you heard
"Eastern Rain" by Joni Mitchell, or "Walking in the Rain" by
Colin Blunstone?
The scene you paint is all the more enjoyable because it is so alien
to us Brits - we are born with wellies on
There was a painter (from Manchester, I think) who actually specialised
in views seen through rainy windows - I kid you not.
My only suggestion is to leave out the first explicit mention of
the song title - just once, at the end, is best (IMHO).
I think "in obeisance" is unnecessary, being already implied by "kowtow"
Geoff
btw isn't it "There but for the grace of you go I"?
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Jester
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Think this is superb, Keith. I used to hear "There before the grace of you go I" too - must be easily missheard - that's my excuse. This was my favourite part -
"it’s raining now. A cool gentle swath, sweeping
through an audience of savannah plants and scruffy
trees, a liveried priest sprinkling holy water on the
penitent and shriveled masses."
Nice one.
Mick.
"it’s raining now. A cool gentle swath, sweeping
through an audience of savannah plants and scruffy
trees, a liveried priest sprinkling holy water on the
penitent and shriveled masses."
Nice one.
Mick.
Another oldie but goodie. It's one of those ones that, in general, is so good that only the weaker bits (if any) attract attention.
In which vein ...
I'm not sure about "penitent and shriveled masses" - what does "penitent" tell us here? Or, how can we ascribe penitence to the plants and trees?
And "similar tears" - don't quite see what they're similar to.
Not a lot more to say, in that vein. The whole conclusion, from "I watched" right to the end, is lovely, and "wilted, overwhelmed, awestruck" is just a show-stopper of a line.
I love the use of Kathy's Song as well. Popular music is to us what Nature was to the Romantics. Discuss.
Shine on Keith.
David
In which vein ...
I'm not sure about "penitent and shriveled masses" - what does "penitent" tell us here? Or, how can we ascribe penitence to the plants and trees?
And "similar tears" - don't quite see what they're similar to.
Not a lot more to say, in that vein. The whole conclusion, from "I watched" right to the end, is lovely, and "wilted, overwhelmed, awestruck" is just a show-stopper of a line.
I love the use of Kathy's Song as well. Popular music is to us what Nature was to the Romantics. Discuss.
Shine on Keith.
David
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twoleftfeet
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- Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up
"before the grace of you go I"
Ooooops! I should have realised it was deliberate.
Actually, I became uncertain myself when I googled it - there are
umpteen lyrics sites that have got it wrong.
David
wrt "similar tears"
Through the window of my eyes...
...... I watch the drops of rain
Wind their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
there but for the grace of you go I
Geoff
Ooooops! I should have realised it was deliberate.
Actually, I became uncertain myself when I googled it - there are
umpteen lyrics sites that have got it wrong.
David
wrt "similar tears"
Through the window of my eyes...
...... I watch the drops of rain
Wind their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
there but for the grace of you go I
Geoff
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kozmikdave
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Gidday
I liked it on first read but it took a few more for me to get it.
There is a real gentleness in this one. Works for me.
Cheers
Dave
I liked it on first read but it took a few more for me to get it.
There is a real gentleness in this one. Works for me.
Cheers
Dave
This is gorgeous and gives the reader so much to identify with. I really, really like it.
It’s not quite right when it rains in a desert, for us
water is not supposed to be heaven sent, it’s sucked
up from the earth, or fluted in on aqueducts or piped
in from far away reservoirs still—
This made me think of Noah's time, their not being familiar with rain from the sky. Starts off a faith theme.
it’s raining now. A cool gentle swath, sweeping
through an audience of savannah plants and scruffy
trees, a liveried priest sprinkling holy water on the
penitent and shriveled masses.
The first place I thought, "this is my favorite stanza"
The scene is wonderful and the inventive metaphor works perfectly
Looking out the window, listening to Kathy’s Song,
watching similar tears collect in a muddy morass—
a young boy grasping for the meanings behind: “There
before the grace of you go I.”
A play on the orginal quote "There, but for the grace of God go I."
Before the rain over my little corner of desolation
quitted us to water the more worthy,
stopped here wondering if this is legal wording or punctuation, maybe
I watched the
lilies kowtow in obeisance, their faces in the mud—
wilted, overwhelmed, awestruck.
the third time I found a favorite stanza
I came to know Kathy’s Song: by the lilies in the rain.
personally felt Kathy's Song being spelled out a second time was too much. Maybe if it weren't such a harsh consonant laden name it wouldn't stand out so much, but it's like its own little brick wall.
Wow, thanks!
Jennie
It’s not quite right when it rains in a desert, for us
water is not supposed to be heaven sent, it’s sucked
up from the earth, or fluted in on aqueducts or piped
in from far away reservoirs still—
This made me think of Noah's time, their not being familiar with rain from the sky. Starts off a faith theme.
it’s raining now. A cool gentle swath, sweeping
through an audience of savannah plants and scruffy
trees, a liveried priest sprinkling holy water on the
penitent and shriveled masses.
The first place I thought, "this is my favorite stanza"
The scene is wonderful and the inventive metaphor works perfectly
Looking out the window, listening to Kathy’s Song,
watching similar tears collect in a muddy morass—
a young boy grasping for the meanings behind: “There
before the grace of you go I.”
A play on the orginal quote "There, but for the grace of God go I."
Before the rain over my little corner of desolation
quitted us to water the more worthy,
stopped here wondering if this is legal wording or punctuation, maybe
I watched the
lilies kowtow in obeisance, their faces in the mud—
wilted, overwhelmed, awestruck.
the third time I found a favorite stanza
I came to know Kathy’s Song: by the lilies in the rain.
personally felt Kathy's Song being spelled out a second time was too much. Maybe if it weren't such a harsh consonant laden name it wouldn't stand out so much, but it's like its own little brick wall.
Wow, thanks!
Jennie
Sorry, I'm helluva late getting in on this; just about everything has been said already but I couldn't pass this one without making a comment: Keith, I think this is the finest of yours that I have read, so much symbolism, such clear evocation of a boyhood wonder at natural things. Music and its associations play a big part in my memories, so the poem really touched the mark. Thanks for composing and posting it. Leslie.