Poetry Forum

Those calf-sized cockroaches that so alarmed us,
till someone's swift descending sandal calmed us;
thank God they don't have wings -
these little things
remind me of Greece.

The loving kisses of those damn mosquitoes;
the children eating their own weight in Cheetos,
with all the crumbs that brings -
these little things
remind me of Greece.

We came, we saw,
we photographed;
we swam and laughed,
and studied the moon
in a blue lagoon.

The girls like Aphrodite and Athena;
the first moussaka and the last retsina -
how my heart sings!
These little things
remind me of Greece.

David,

A classic! (or should that be a classical?)

It needs recording.
Incidentally how does the bridge go?
Look most people (I suspect), I only know the tune to the main bit.....

A great laugh
Geoff

Ah, family holiday snapshots - without the album. How'd it go?

Those calf-sized cockroaches - I hope you're talking lower legs and not cowlets - You could be accused of hyperbole here.

thank God they don't have wings - I thought they did - Or is that just Greek horses?

and studied the moon
in a blue lagoon. - very cringeworthy, I like it.

A postcard from Greece.

Issto epanidhin

Barrios

no need to repeat the obvious, that this little poem is perfect at showing those snapshots (oops), so I'll just say that this actually brought me back to my own visit to Greece, I love the honesty too, even the distasteful and trite memories make me smile in nostalgia.
cool cool cool
word

Geoff, I think I've messed the bridge up a bit. Or I've messed with it a bit. There's something from another old standard that's crept in as well, but I can't quite place it. Anyway, I tried to find Billie Holiday singing it, but here's Frank instead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlMAS3qj ... ed&search=

Barrie, it went well thanks - back late last night - bloody hot - 46 to 48 on Thursday! Hyperbole is a Greek word, isn't it? I speak fluent hyperbole, dontcha know. I knew you'd pick up on the wings! I thought they didn't, but I checked, and they do, but they don't use them, so I thought what the hell. They can move startlingly quickly without them. And they were big.

Dandy, thanks. Snapshots is what it is, not to mention sentimental and obvious, but that's how I like my holidays. Glad it reminded you of yours.

Cheers

David

Ooh, very formal.

Nice one David (nice to have you back too, I assume the holiday went well considering you wrote about it).

I really like the structure of the first two stanzas, particularly because it's rigid and unecessary but works so well.

Not much to say to be honest apart from echoing Barrie: some of it is a bit cringe-worthy, but that helps the sentiment. (Although maybe 'loving kisses' is a bit too much!).

Enjoyable
Dave

David = yeah, nice postcard...

You ought to see the size on the roaches here in Brazil…as big as dogs….and some of the buggers got wings ….

I will fight any man to a duel …..put a cockroach in front of me….. goodnight….

Picture this:
Kim is sitting alone at her computer at 1 am with bare feet. There is no moon, it's very, very dark. And what does she read that makes her skin crawl? I am itching right now.
I wasn't sure about the blue lagoon part. Not sure it made the poem better. I tried to read it without it and it didn't work. Maybe a different stanza would tie the whole thing together.

What I did love was the ending.

The girls like Aphrodite and Athena;
the first moussaka and the last retsina -
how my heart sings!

It is so happy compared to the calf sized cockroaches and cheeto trails. I think the contrast makes this a delightful little poem.
Also, the sing-song nature of the first two verses. Almost like a perverse Julie Andrews singing "My favourite things..."


Cheers,
Kim

D.--

I enjoyed the fact that the snapshots you used for your images weren't typical of Greece-- it implied a more personal connection with the place that goes beyond the simple fact that it's an interesting, nostalgic region. I don't necessarily think of Greece when thinking about cheetos, but it works so well here.

My only criticism concerns the third stanza; it seems a tad cliched in comparison to the rest of the poem.

But other than that, nice work :]

--R.

Hey Big D

Really lovely read, I liked S3 the most, purely for the emotional connotation, reminds me of my trip round Europe this year and staying in Caphelonia for a week. Beer cans buried on the pebble shore, guitar in hand, boat moored up - ah dear, just looked outside the contrast is too much!

Wahhhhhhhh!

Get a melodic hook on the final couplet and I think I feel a tune coming on.

BL
x

Hi folks - I put this one away with the holiday reading and the sun-tan lotion, but it's nice to get it out again. BL, damn right you feel a tune coming on - but is it the right tune?