Poetry Forum

She stood like dead reckoning on a promise.
With legs that raise right up to a smile,
This aurora of light fantastic.

High healed with high stakes,
High hopes on a higher plain,
Wishing to grace this place with her
Essence.

Wild at heart, untamed by life’s gentle blows,
Punch drunk and spinning slowly,
Around and around like a box of
Broken thoughts.

This Venus of the morning night,
with body set aflame with,
Overwhelming carnal dreamt
Feelings of life.


Andy W.
Greenman
Middlesex. ©2005

Greenman,

I liked and disliked the same things in this poem...The contrasts. There were several good ones, but too many for my liking.

Look forward to seeing more of your stuff.

--Keith.

Absolon's Sword wrote:Greenman,

I liked and disliked the same things in this poem...The contrasts. There were several good ones, but too many for my liking.

Look forward to seeing more of your stuff.

--Keith.

Keith, the poem was written in 10 minutes, which is amazing for me as most of my poems take days to write. Which bits did you like? As I'd love to know.

Greenman
Middlesex.

Most particularly?

The last two stanzae. It felt like the first two you were still toying with what you wanted to say and how.

--A.S.