Poetry Forum

.

Price


What did you say?
"I'd like you to kiss my
marrow;
lick it and love it in that lavish way
you do."

So I did.
Eventually I came up to breathe with
lips stained wet with the sheen
or redbrick
colored rust.

Young blood-- metallic,

orgasmic, and agonizing.
I drank it up, reducing myself
as I arranged my form
around
the anatomy of our mistake.


.

You may as well call this ¨Blow Job¨

The imagery was OK….(would be wouldn’t it)

The first stanza is a good intro…second stanza…..interesting…..3rd stanza – well – predictable really…particularly the phrase..

the anatomy of our mistake.

Well worn phrase…….sounding like something from a Kylie Minogue number…

Thanks for sharing…

PS: There's a spelling eror, too....or....

Haha! Not much left to interpretation - although the title is a little intriguing, I wont ask . . . . . .

I'm not sure I want to go into it any further, some of the turns of phrase are apt though!

Just when it seems it couldn't be more obvious, you throw in an intriguing last line - the anatomy of our mistake - there's a puzzler.

Probably the sheen / of redbrick / colored rust? Redbrick itself is an interesting near homonym.

Despatches from the frontier of youth ... you're very good at them, but they make feel very old. Not your fault. I am very old.

Cheers

David