The byline photos in Accountancy magazine
are a spectacle of spectacles,
oval faces, soft hair graying and thinning,
foreheads with a glossy sheen,
anything but aesthetical.
Accountants have looked like this since the beginning:
look at the portrait of Pacioli,
eyes like tiny chips of opal, face jowly, doughy,
pale as a plucked fowl,
divining something secret and wholly
cogent in the weft of commerce. Why be showy?
he seems to say. Keep it under your cowl.
Portraits of Accountants
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twoleftfeet
- Perspicacious Poster
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I like this, K-J, particularly
spectacle of spectacles
- I always think in terms of humourless,ice-cool, pentium-brained Nazi sociopaths as exemplified by Donald Pleasance:
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgur ... n%26sa%3DG
I take it Pacioli has got it his contact lenses in?
Geoff
spectacle of spectacles
- I always think in terms of humourless,ice-cool, pentium-brained Nazi sociopaths as exemplified by Donald Pleasance:
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgur ... n%26sa%3DG
I take it Pacioli has got it his contact lenses in?
Geoff
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John G
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- Contact:
Excellent descriptions of those who practice the dull drudgery of dealing with numbers , almost makes them seem human
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.
k-j
I enjoyed reading this. Very accomplished writing. Your description of Pacioli is very good as is your interpretation of the portrait. You also offer a convincing link to the present day.
Stick a moustache on Pacioli and he does a passable imitation of Calvi. Curiouser and curiouser.
Cheers.
I enjoyed reading this. Very accomplished writing. Your description of Pacioli is very good as is your interpretation of the portrait. You also offer a convincing link to the present day.
This reminded me of the Italian banker Roberto Calvi who was found hanging under Blackfriars Bridge in London in 1982. He became known as God's Banker as a result of his involvement with the Vatican Bank. He was a member of a masonic lodge known as P2. It's members called themselves frati neri - black friars.k-j wrote:divining something secret...
Keep it under your cowl
Stick a moustache on Pacioli and he does a passable imitation of Calvi. Curiouser and curiouser.
Cheers.
"This is going to be a damn masterpiece, when I finish dis..." - Poeterry
Althought the content is good, I'm much more impressed by the sonics in this. It sounds like you've spent a bit of time combining the two, and to excellent effect. You've taken a drab subject and given it life.
There's one line that doesn't sound right -
Accountants have looked like this since the beginning: - since the beginning is little over used, and combined with the rest, sounds like it could have come from a newspaper. It spoils the poem for me - everything else is carefully written, with content and sound in mind.
I like the idea behind this ....and the sonics.
Barrie
There's one line that doesn't sound right -
Accountants have looked like this since the beginning: - since the beginning is little over used, and combined with the rest, sounds like it could have come from a newspaper. It spoils the poem for me - everything else is carefully written, with content and sound in mind.
I like the idea behind this ....and the sonics.
Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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The Forger
- Posts: 6
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Hi KJ,
As the simple explanation of an idea this reads well.
'Spectacle of spectacles' - sounds clumsy and lazy to me.
'foreheads with a glossy sheen / anything but aesthetic' - v. good but I would drop the -al from aesthetic and I agree with barry on the next line, which just doesn't fit in with your line.
I think you could find another rhyme for those two lines that works more for the poem.
I would start the penultimate stanza as a new sentence and build from there into the last one, which I have nothing to comment on, as you will be pleased to know it all seems fine. Divining is a particularly good choice.
As the simple explanation of an idea this reads well.
'Spectacle of spectacles' - sounds clumsy and lazy to me.
'foreheads with a glossy sheen / anything but aesthetic' - v. good but I would drop the -al from aesthetic and I agree with barry on the next line, which just doesn't fit in with your line.
I think you could find another rhyme for those two lines that works more for the poem.
I would start the penultimate stanza as a new sentence and build from there into the last one, which I have nothing to comment on, as you will be pleased to know it all seems fine. Divining is a particularly good choice.
Thanks everyone. Not all accountants look like Donald Pleasance of course, but most do.
Different views on "spectacle of spectacles" - I'd expect Geoff to like it. I originally had "succession of spectacles" which is more sober and I think I prefer on reflection.
redpond - is there anything else it doesn't remind you of? Pantuflas, popsicles, popcorn and plums?
oskar - yes, I might have had Calvi in the back of my mind. Good call.
Barrie - the line you pick out was my favourite! The nonpoetic line. Bah.
Forger - thanks for a good crit. I agree about "spectacle of spectacles". Also agree about "aesthetical" but it was a (cakchanded) attempt to rhyme with "spectacle" and I don't want to break my scheme. Will consider a rewrite. Not sure about "divining" as a new sentence but you make me see that the poem is really two stanzas rather than four.
Can anyone think of perfect rhymes for "spectacles"?
Different views on "spectacle of spectacles" - I'd expect Geoff to like it. I originally had "succession of spectacles" which is more sober and I think I prefer on reflection.
redpond - is there anything else it doesn't remind you of? Pantuflas, popsicles, popcorn and plums?
oskar - yes, I might have had Calvi in the back of my mind. Good call.
Barrie - the line you pick out was my favourite! The nonpoetic line. Bah.
Forger - thanks for a good crit. I agree about "spectacle of spectacles". Also agree about "aesthetical" but it was a (cakchanded) attempt to rhyme with "spectacle" and I don't want to break my scheme. Will consider a rewrite. Not sure about "divining" as a new sentence but you make me see that the poem is really two stanzas rather than four.
Can anyone think of perfect rhymes for "spectacles"?
fine words butter no parsnips
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ccvulture
k-j
I was very impressed with the rhyme scheme and that it felt natural despite being quite complex.
My only real nit, and for me it's a big one, is this:
In the portrait of Pacioli which you linked to, there are none of the features you describe in the preceding stanzas - this despite your saying that "Accountants have looked like this since the beginning", and using the said portrait to illustate that claim. He doesn't have specs, nor an oval face, his hair is brown and full, and his forehead is flat and shineless.
It feels to me as if the whole timelessness and cleverness of the poem hangs on an observation which is, at its heart, false.
Great writing, needs a different angle, either a rewrite of stanzas 1 and 2, or a different inspirational portrait in stanzas 3 and 4.
Regards
Stuart
I was very impressed with the rhyme scheme and that it felt natural despite being quite complex.
My only real nit, and for me it's a big one, is this:
In the portrait of Pacioli which you linked to, there are none of the features you describe in the preceding stanzas - this despite your saying that "Accountants have looked like this since the beginning", and using the said portrait to illustate that claim. He doesn't have specs, nor an oval face, his hair is brown and full, and his forehead is flat and shineless.
It feels to me as if the whole timelessness and cleverness of the poem hangs on an observation which is, at its heart, false.
Great writing, needs a different angle, either a rewrite of stanzas 1 and 2, or a different inspirational portrait in stanzas 3 and 4.
Regards
Stuart
k-j wrote:The byline photos in Accountancy magazine
are a spectacle of spectacles,
oval faces, soft hair graying and thinning,
foreheads with a glossy sheen,
anything but aesthetical.
Accountants have looked like this since the beginning:de
look at the portrait of Pacioli,
eyes like tiny chips of opal, face jowly, doughy,
pale as a plucked fowl,
divining something secret and wholly
cogent in the weft of commerce. Why be showy?
he seems to say. Keep it under your cowl.
You don't fancy conventicle of spectacles, do you?
I think Stuart is on to something, and you do need to tie Pacioli (great reference) in to the photos, but I think you just need to tweak the salient characteristics from the photos.
This is very good, and I know whereof I speak.
Tu le connais, lecteur, ce monstre délicat,
—Hypocrite lecteur,—mon semblable,—mon frère!
Cheers
David
I think Stuart is on to something, and you do need to tie Pacioli (great reference) in to the photos, but I think you just need to tweak the salient characteristics from the photos.
This is very good, and I know whereof I speak.
Tu le connais, lecteur, ce monstre délicat,
—Hypocrite lecteur,—mon semblable,—mon frère!
Cheers
David
Well, receptacle rhymes with aesthetical, but dialectical has that added 'c'. Top of the class, Oskar.
CCV: I only meant that accountants have been "anything but aesthetical" since the beginning, rather than spectacled, gray-haired etc. But I can see that it's confusing so I'll try and do something about that; thanks.
David: I knew that quote from the Waste Land but Googling I find Eliot got it from Baudelaire. Wowsers. Not enough Baudelaire in Accountancy magazine.
CCV: I only meant that accountants have been "anything but aesthetical" since the beginning, rather than spectacled, gray-haired etc. But I can see that it's confusing so I'll try and do something about that; thanks.
David: I knew that quote from the Waste Land but Googling I find Eliot got it from Baudelaire. Wowsers. Not enough Baudelaire in Accountancy magazine.
fine words butter no parsnips
Accountants have always been necessary; aristocrats (then) and their brother criminals (now) have always been notoriously poor at math. Most, not all.
Anyway, I liked this piece. It was unexpected, strange, and inadvertantly rather funny.
Anyway, I liked this piece. It was unexpected, strange, and inadvertantly rather funny.
It's in The Waste Land? I have to read more Eliot.k-j wrote:David: I knew that quote from the Waste Land but Googling I find Eliot got it from Baudelaire. Wowsers. Not enough Baudelaire in Accountancy magazine.
K-J
I have not had much time to contribute this week but as one practiced in the arts of Pacioli I feel drawn to comment on this one. I have to say I bear no resemblance to Donald Pleasance!!
The last two stanzas are very good - the rhyming scheme in particular (doughy/showy are inspired) but like others I tend to agree the descriptions in s1 and s2 don't directly connect to how Pacioli looks.
Pacioli's contribution to accountancy was to be the first to document the "balancing of books" - the system of double entry book-keeping used by Venetian merchants. I won't bore you with anymore!!. So a thought is could you introduce the concept of balance between the modern and the ancient.
One final thought to be really nerdy - there is a phrase "true and fair view" beloved of accountants and I just wonder of you could use that in the title - A True and Fair View - or would be that too knowing?
Elphin
I have not had much time to contribute this week but as one practiced in the arts of Pacioli I feel drawn to comment on this one. I have to say I bear no resemblance to Donald Pleasance!!
The last two stanzas are very good - the rhyming scheme in particular (doughy/showy are inspired) but like others I tend to agree the descriptions in s1 and s2 don't directly connect to how Pacioli looks.
Pacioli's contribution to accountancy was to be the first to document the "balancing of books" - the system of double entry book-keeping used by Venetian merchants. I won't bore you with anymore!!. So a thought is could you introduce the concept of balance between the modern and the ancient.
One final thought to be really nerdy - there is a phrase "true and fair view" beloved of accountants and I just wonder of you could use that in the title - A True and Fair View - or would be that too knowing?
Elphin