Poetry Forum

He came towards me - I'd been reading
at the back of the house. This unauthorised
incursion fairly took my breath away.
After a brief exchange we parted fondly.

Later, when they asked me what had happened,
I thought about my book. A love unequalled,
all conquering - could I find a word for that?
Sometimes stories take on a life of their own.

Hi David,

I enjoyed this mysterious poem. The title and the idea of " A love unequalled,
all conquering - could I find a word for that?" made me think of Mary of Nazareth. Yet after a couple more readings, I am not satisfied that she is the speaker here. Thinking about it, I can also see it as Mary Shelley speaking. Perhaps there are connections I'm missing. I guess that's some range for a short poem!

Interesting and evocatve.

Best,
Elle

David wrote:He came towards me - I'd been reading
at the back of the house. This unauthorised
incursion fairly took my breath away.
After a brief exchange we parted fondly.

Later, when they asked me what had happened,
I thought about my book. A love unequalled,
all conquering - could I find a word for that?
Sometimes stories take on a life of their own.

I'm assuming it's Mary who mmmmmiraculously had the baby they call Haysoos, int' Bible. I'm wondering if shorter lines would increase this's effectiveness?

Cheers

Stu

Elle, I like the Mary Shelley idea - much to think about there - but you (and Stu) are right, it was M of N I was actually thinking about. In fact, it was this:

http://www.nationalgalleryimages.co.uk/ ... 1139&frm=1

I wonder whether I should change A love unequalled, / all conquering to A love laid down / by Heaven?

Anyway, cheers

David

I think it was the slightly flippant and casual tone of the whole thing that made me doubt it was about the most famous of the Marys. I guess my brain has been trained to expect the elaborate or heavy when it comes to such subjects. For that reason I really liked this once I came to understand it better.

Sometimes stories take on a life of their own. - a double edged one this. Is the intention to also have a dig at Christianity, as a whole, for reinventing Jesus in their own book? Or do I read to much into it?

TDF

You're not far off there, Tom, but I don't want to be too dogmatic about it. Not too much black or white, eh? Grey is my favourite colour.

Cheers

David

David wrote:Not too much black or white, eh? Grey is my favourite colour.

I couldn't agree more.
Would you like a seat on the fence to go with that too?

TDF wrote:

David wrote:Not too much black or white, eh? Grey is my favourite colour.

I couldn't agree more.
Would you like a seat on the fence to go with that too?

A seat, eh? Hmm. Let me think about that. I can see arguments for it, and against ...

David wrote:A seat, eh? Hmm. Let me think about that. I can see arguments for it, and against ...

ahh touche, sir, touche

I wrote this last night - I've just found it in Words

Is this the meeting of the Verger Mary with the Angel Gabriel Princip, who told her that nobody would ever believe that she was a virgin. Angel Gabriel Princip went on to kill Archjukebox Ferdinand whose friends would lay waste to Europe and try to blame it on British Rail time-tables - another likely story.

It was the book that had me stumped - I thought they just used animal skin, papyrus, clay or wax in those far off days of angels and miracles.

Barrie

That's bloody painters for you

David I love this for its simple (but layered) view of Mary. It's really a terrific personification because it feels so darn natural. "A love laid down" is good. Do consider it.

Cheers!

e

David

After a few reads I had a different take on this, prompted by the line I thought about my book. I had transported Mary to the modern day of kiss and tell and created an image of Mary sitting and wondering about the book she would write and the serialisation rights.

Cynical or what?

Elphin

Thanks, e. Encouraging!

Elph, yes, you cynical swine.

And as for you, Bazza - what a load of Balkans.

Cheers all

David

This is great but I think it needs the picture by its side. In this day and age you could probably just put a hyperlink on "He came towards me" - the old fashioned way I suppose would be to reference it in the title, or in a footnote.

But with the pic, it's zesty and very funny. Splendid last line.

D you might try sending it here:

http://hometown.aol.com/ekphrasis1/

They are the only journal I know that specializes in ekphrastic poems. I've been meaning to submit myself but never get around to sending out much of my own stuff. What a terrible administrator I am!

e

Big D

Boomshanka!

Done a good'un with this one. I think you need "green" in here somewhere, but that's me and your last line sort of resonates as I type . . . so there's a shade of grey for you, at least.

Like muchly

loads love 'n stuff

me
x

Strangely enough, beau, we Manxies use the same word - glass - for green and grey. Maybe that explains a lot ...

Strangely enough, beau, we Manxies use the same word - glass - for green and grey. Maybe that explains a lot ...

It's the same in Irish ... incidentally, Dave, tell that Mary one to stop reading Jane Austen!