Analgesia

[ray miller]

In the arcades and the alleyways
the fugitives take furtive drags.
What was the craze is now a malaise,
the red crosses upon the white flags
portray a nationwide neurosis,
a compulsive obsession with health,
in thrall to the No Smoking notice -
not at all at ease with itself.

Buoyed on an ocean of Ritalin,
Big Pharma pockets the profit.
The daily Viagra and vitamin -
they ought to be told to come off it.
Increasing dependency doses,
the playground exchange of bright sweets;
damned by a dual diagnosis,
the endless prescription repeats.

To manage stress a bulletproof vest
is obligatory in these quarters.
It's the weight you can't get off your chest
when there's statins in our waters.
Before the final curtain closes
you'll need permission to depart;
in the theatre emergency poses
are struck at an unwilling heart.

The geeks and the loners wreak revenge
on all those who disrespect them.
They don't say much and have few friends,
put them on the autistic spectrum.
Diagnosing human weakness
in your analgesic Eden;
is all suffering a sickness
and susceptible to treatment?

[bobvincent]

I particularly like the end of the third stanza: "in the theatre emergency poses/are struck at an unwilling heart"
Not a poem I would have written myself, but a powerful one. Perhaps I would have tried to end the poem on a resonant rhyme. Perhaps the last two stanzas could be exchanged without the whole thing losing anything?

[barrie]

I'd like to hear this read - the rhytnm falters at times, but after a few readings (when you know what's coming next) it's easy to make adjustments.

I quite like the title - Analgesia. As well as the usual meaning, it sounds like some made up country from an Ealing comedy.

Maybe you could keep Eden singular in the last verse.

Diagnosing human weakness
in your analgesic Eden;
is all suffering a sickness
and susceptible to treatment?

nice one

Barrie

[ray miller]

Thank you, barrie. Just for you, 'cause I know how much it pleases you, I've removed the s from Edens. The rhythm goes awry, or simply changes, in the third verse. It was a verse that was reworked extensively and I guess I got fed up in the end. ray