Triduum

[bobvincent]

A second attempt to invite comments on this poem. (The first time I was locked down after an altercation with the authorities)Without wishing to insult anyone's intelligence, the Triduum is the sequence of three holy days leading up to Easter Sunday, as celebrated in the Catholic church.

TRIDUUM


Thursday

Tonight I shall sip our Saviour’s sweet blood
and taste His body offered in thin bread.
This is the night of the traitor’s kiss,
of torches and swords in the garden;
I am here to share the passion,
but weak flesh can only close tired eyes
and wilt like saints amid olive trees.
.....................................................................
Friday

Hungry, subdued, I arrive to silence,
find no water to wet my head.
The priests abase themselves in blood-red robes,
outshining my sombre dark weeds.
I kiss the softly-wiped nails through His feet,
and pray for all this to be true.
.......................................................................
Saturday

I only watch the miracle of light
dance upon my hand. Diamond-bright,
burning white, my every slightest breath stirs
its flame, perfect amid darkness.
I would enter its purging, cleansing fire
and bathe in its beckoning heat.
What lightning, hotter than sun, will raise me,
gather up my poor lost atoms, strewn wide,
kindle my cells’ spark, and open my eyes
on the last of all days to see Christ’s face?
..........................

[David]

You're not insulting my intelligence, Bob. I had to google it first time around.

And I liked it first time around, too.

I particularly like

but weak flesh can only close tired eyes
and wilt like saints amid olive trees,

and the triumphant conclusion to Saturday.

I can't say I share your belief 100%, if this is your belief, but I admire it. Good poem.

Cheers

David

[Ros]

I think this is very powerful, Bob, especially Thursday.

Least keen I think on Friday, perhaps because poetically
'and pray for all this to be true' seems a bit prosaic. (In my experience, priests often lose their red robes on Friday and perform only in black, though of course that may not be what Catholics do).

I only watch the miracle of light

Why the only?

Great stuff, anyway.

[R. Broath]

All powerful stuff Bob.
I particularly liked this;

'I am here to share the passion'

and this

'pray for all this to be true'

- a time of year when the faithful are imbued with a renewal of that faith and seek to internalise that small annual miracle and implement it.

I am less fond of;

'sombre dark weeds' - slightly cliched
and

'diamond bright'. - definitely cliched

It has an overall honesty which saves it from tipping into sentimentality.

Good stuff.

Jimmy

[Elphin]

Bob

As religious devotion it works and has some interesting lines as the others have pointed out, but ........I have to ask a question you often ask - what does this say about life and people today?

Poetically, I think you need to watch for too many adjective-noun combinations (a hobby horse of mine, I know).

elph

[bobvincent]

Elphin,
I think my poem shows human desire for a God, even though that desire is often tempered by doubt, which is expressed in my poem in the second and last stanzas. As for adjective-noun combinations, i choose to ignore your unusual hobby-horse.