Grandparenthood

[David]

Never before such monumental
joy, such enormity
of happiness; grandparenthood
spreading like a jovial mist,

professional disappointments lose
their sting, disarmed and rendered moot
by a new grand dispensation.
Life seems a puzzle he has solved.

(Not me btw! An observation only.)

[Ros]

Ah, I was just wondering if congratulations were in order! Particularly liked

a new grand dispensation.

- reminded me of TS Eliot, Journey of the Magi.

Life seems a puzzle he has solved.

The 'he' being the child, rather than the grandparent? For some reason I can't quite pinpoint, I didn't like the 'he has'. I think perhaps because the rest of the poem is rather abstract about the actual child and grandparent, a he at this point felt wrong.

[David]

Thanks Ros. I thought the "he" was implied, but obviously not as clearly as I'd thought. I'll have another look.

Cheers

David

[R. Broath]

'Jovial mist' has a Dickensian ring to it David and the whole seems imbued with a rose-tinted optimism. Nothing the matter with that. An affirmative poem. A time-of-year poem. A good poem.

Jimmy

[Nigel]

I liked 'a jovial mist' but we have to assume the identity of 'him' and that felt awkward. You can easily get round it by retitling your poem Grandson possibly; then the pronoun doesn't have to work so hard. You made me share in your joy though.

[David]

Thanks Jimmie & Nigel. (Hi Nigel.)

I actually wanted to suggest that the rose-tinted optimism, whilst entirely justified in the first flush of the moment, might actually be too rose-tinted, but that doesn't seem to have come across.

And not my joy, Nigel, but the joy of a friend. Thanks for the good thought, though. (The he is the grandparent. And the walrus was Paul.)

Cheers

David

[Elphin]

Mmmmm David

A life affirming poem - jovial mist being an interesting phrase and the use of the "grand" words of monumental and enormity a clever technique but not obtrusively so. As a whole though its not quite working for me old fella although if I was the friend that you'd written it for it would certainly add to my feelings of "chuffedness"

elph

[Lake]

The he is the grandparent.

That's what I thought , though it is my belated reply, but I'm really pleased that I read it right. It doesn't happen very often to me.
The only thing is without your note I was about to cheer to you.

Such a joy! I like it. I really do.

Lake

[amergin]

This is a fine poem. I always see my grandchildren as affirmation of a sort of immortality for me.

Grand-daughter
tiny hand upon my knee,
shoplifter's smile,
carrots in my slippers.

They get away with more than your own kids do and the real pleasure is having them for a day and sending them home at night. Arthur

[dedalus]

One day, some day ... I hope so, anyway.
My sister's daughter will be having a child this summer. That will make me a what? ... a grand uncle? Sorry, doesn't have the resonance. She married way too early anyway.

Very nice, tho'

Bren