Exercise#2: Verbing weirds language

[bodkin]

See Calvin and Hobbes...

...language evolves all the time. Sometimes faster than others, but it never stops changing.

Sometimes new usages are annoying:

Don't disrespect me, irregardless.

[center]'Disrespect' as a verb I dislike, but it stems from the 17th century, 'irregardless' is just plain stupid...)[/center]
Sometimes they are ironic or humorous:

People live longer because science.

Sometimes a word has been mutating for a long time, e.g. as Calvin says about "access", it was once a noun, but is now commonly a verb:

(Old) Do you have access to the documents?
(New) Can you access the documents?

Other cases:

Tool names evolving into actions:

Vacuum cleaner (N) : cleaning appliance -> Vacuum (V) : to clean with a vacuum cleaner.

And ordinary grammatical conversions:

Noun -> Adjective : spoon -> spoon-like; cube -> cubic, cubical etc
Adjective -> Adverb : quick -> quickly; blue -> bluely
verb -> noun : "to run" -> "a run"; "to build" -> "a build";
also "I am swimming" (V) -> "I like swimming" (N)

--which can always change again ("blue-like", "a made").

All this is very well, but...

...are we not poets? Must we wait while language evolves? Surely our powers are greater than this!?

So get in there with a screwdriver and evolve some language yourself.

Put words through hoops they never even knew were there...

Toothbrush yourself, spanner the car, then labrador the park...

Step walkly and quicklike dance to the musicking...

Pour tea until you have cupfilled...

Fight for an accede, push your argue, but always recognise the agree...

You can do it a little, say just at those special emphasites...
Or else you could really cut loose, and write a whole poem for the "differently grammared"...

...but in either case, try to freak your inner grammar Nazi!

[twoleftfeet]

[
Other cases:

Tool names evolving into actions:

Vacuum cleaner (N) : cleaning appliance -> Vacuum (V) : to clean with a vacuum cleaner.

Blew
+++++

Instead of blow, Blewitt blew his wad
(edit: make that twice) on a blow-job
from a truculent lady in Ealing -
with amateur blue movie credits
succulent pectoral extensions
artistic pretensions and Artex ceilings.
Turning tricks earned her rich pickings:
as a certified vacuum-cleaner cleaner
she had the dickens of a suck.

`

[twoleftfeet]

An oldie from 2007, when the unsinkable Admiral Blair was about to hand over the wheel to the unthinkable Cap'n Brown.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4719&p=30898

[Antcliff]

High Winds

Headless horsemen at full tilt,
lovers of the loveless night,
akin and kin to ghosts.

Extinguishers of candles, lamps,
haters of the well lit fire,
small boats, bird hopes.

No face, no lips, no kiss,
uncontested rulers of the cold,
dancers of apocalypso.

[twoleftfeet]

Hi, Seth

Enjoyed this one.

Each stanza has a strong ending, and "apocalypso" qualifies the poem as grammatically wyrd.

I think that, with a bit of TLC, you could add to your half-rhymes/assonances e.g "no face, no lips, no kiss".
"candle wicks"?


Geoff

[Antcliff]

I think that, with a bit of TLC, you could add to your half-rhymes/assonances e.g "no face, no lips, no kiss".
"candle wicks"?

Geoff, thanks..

Aargh. That was the original order, but I wondered if it was too much. I see the answer is "no" and I am going to nab "wicks".

Say it loud, say it proud..glad to be grammatically wyrd. Hooray.



Seth

[David]

Sorry Ian, never quite got to grips with this one, which is a shame because it's an intriguing challenge. More time over Christmas, so may give it a go then.

[Jackie]

I've been thinking about this one. A Robitussin commercial this morning told me that I should use their product to avoid "coughequence," or collateral damage caused by coughing in public. I can see lots of uses for -equence.

Jackie

[Jackie]

Whenever he sees you
Stammerer smiles.
He distort writes
and talks foot-stamps
we misregard.

There came the day
his class exploded.
Coming for help
he explammered
wolf-cries.

With paroxic eyefuls
he drove his feet
like fists
till shouts from his floor
made us send aid

to all
that is
but Stammerer
who, misbeguiled,
still smiled.


Original version:

Whenever he sees you, Brima smiles,
but writing, disstutterer torts
and he talks foot-stamps to misregard.

There came the day his class exploded.
Coming for help, he explammered
wolf-cries! He drove his forefoot like fists
while their paroxysms spluttered.
At last we heard shouts and dispatched aid
to all, that is, but Stammerer

who,
misbeguiled,
still smiled.

[twoleftfeet]

Excellent, Jackie - especially "explammered wolf-cries / paroxic eyefuls".

[Jackie]

Yes, strong, and with the dignity high winds deserve. Like a list of kennings. Wonderful to read.

Jackie

[David]

I agree, very good, I endorse the wyrdness and the kenningness, but the last line spoils it a bit for me. Apocalypso is a clever coinage, but - whether in its Greekness or in its Caribbean sense - it took me out my wild Northern mood that the rest of the poem had established. And I thought that was a pity.

8/9 is not bad, though.

Cheers

David

[1lankest]

Perched in a little house on top of a Welsh hill that seems like it may well soon succumb to such a wind, this was highly enjoyable.
I like it all.....just a thought:
Not sure about 'bird hopes, it didn't fall as nicely as the rest......could you replace 'bird' for an example of a species? A particularly delicate one perhaps.....
Luke

[Elphin]

A bit like David re apocalypso which had me thinking whether apocalypto is better -- there is some resonance between fleeing the winds and the young Jaguar Paw (i think that was his name) fleeing the human sacrifice and saving his family in the film Apocalypto.

elph

[bodkin]

Sorry Ian, never quite got to grips with this one, which is a shame because it's an intriguing challenge. More time over Christmas, so may give it a go then.

As you may deduce fro my silence, I am also finding it hard to start...

I think the problem is that if you are thinking about the detail of language, then you ain't thinking about the subject of the poem, and vice versa.

Couplideas to get around that:

1. write the poem "straight" and then look at the language as a separate second phase
2. choose the subject matter, write down a lot of words related to that, and then start specifically trying to bend those words...

I think people are probably also distracted by the holidays, I know I am...

...but no big. We can carry on with this into the New Year if people want.

I *will* post something.

It *will* be late...

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

[bodkin]

I've been thinking about this one. A Robitussin commercial this morning told me that I should use their product to avoid "coughequence," or collateral damage caused by coughing in public. I can see lots of uses for -equence.

Jackie

Intriguing!

There is also "...aclysm", "...alypse" and the old standard "...omatic"

Ian

[bodkin]

See another of Geoff's responses to this exercise here: http://poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopi ... =3&t=19282

[Antcliff]

Thanks, Jackie. Good to know.
(ps..not on my poem. I like this idea...."A Robitussin commercial this morning told me that I should use their product to avoid "coughequence," or collateral damage caused by coughing in public. I can see lots of uses for -equence.")


Thanks Luke..I'll go with a specific bird.

Thanks Elph,

I like Apocalypto, but does it have (with sufficient clarity) that dance link?

Thanks David,

Well, I don't think I can drop the calypso, but perhaps I can make that seem a bit more northern?


High winds rattle the drums V2

Headless horsemen at full tilt,
lovers of the loveless night,
akin and kin to ghosts.

Extinguishers of wicks, lamps,
haters of the well lit fire,
small boats, wren hopes.

No face, no lips, no kiss,
uncontested rulers of the cold,
dancers to an oil drum apocalypso.

[Jackie]

Thank you, Geoff, for your kind words up there somewhere in the mix.

Jackie

[bodkin]

Blew
+++++

Instead of blow, Blewitt blew his wad
(edit: make that twice) on a blow-job
from a truculent lady in Ealing -
with amateur blue movie credits
succulent pectoral extensions
artistic pretensions and Artex ceilings.
Turning tricks earned her rich pickings:
as a certified vacuum-cleaner cleaner
she had the dickens of a suck.

`

I wondered whether the name "Blewitt" was a topical reference, but I only found a few actors and sports personalities, so I am thinking not...

[bodkin]

High Winds

Headless horsemen at full tilt,
lovers of the loveless night,
akin and kin to ghosts.

Extinguishers of candles, lamps,
haters of the well lit fire,
small boats, bird hopes.

No face, no lips, no kiss,
uncontested rulers of the cold,
dancers of apocalypso.

I like "lovers of the loveless night"...

...and also "bird hopes"

Ian

[bodkin]

[quote='antcliff']High winds rattle the drums V2

Headless horsemen at full tilt,
lovers of the loveless night,
akin and kin to ghosts.

Extinguishers of wicks, lamps,
haters of the well lit fire,
small boats, wren hopes.

No face, no lips, no kiss,
uncontested rulers of the cold,
dancers to an oil drum apocalypso.[/quote]

That'll teach me to answer posts in forwards chronological order...

...I like "wren hopes" even more

[bodkin]

Irreducible relevance

A day out in the thronged, finds-he only blinkness
for youngthings selling somethings he cannot understand
and brave new world-machinery wants to 'crossroads him in kindness-go'
but worst is these days it's impossible to know
what's supposed to be polite : 'Slickness Party Extreme'...
...really? What's that supposed to mean? Signage
is little better: 'walkery' is clear enough, but at his age
is 'local through-drop' a thing he should avoid?
The trick is not to get annoyed,
let his old apps guide him. Coffee would be good
and here they've found a place with 'genuine human waitress'
which means a half chance of being understood.

[bodkin]

Whenever he sees you
Stammerer smiles.
He distort writes
and talks foot-stamps
we misregard.

There came the day
his class exploded.
Coming for help
he explammered
wolf-cries.

With paroxic eyefuls
he drove his feet
like fists
till shouts from his floor
made us send aid

to all
that is
but Stammerer
who, misbeguiled,
still smiled.

Hi Jackie,

I think this is really into the spirit of the exercise and also telling a story. One thing I'm not quite sure of is "distort writes"... since stammering wouldn't affect written words? But I am guessing he has bad handwriting too?

Ian

[Jackie]

Hi Ian,

The actual person I was writing about also had writing problems (maybe dyslexia). Probably I should draw away from that reality in writing the poem.

The obstacle that Exercise #2 has presented for me is fearing that a poem that came out of it would not have a chance of being accepted elsewhere. I've tried getting feedback on this poem before, getting no more response than, "This isn't a word," or "Is this English?"

Jackie