Exercise: "Repeat after me..."
Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 6:52 pm
Repetition can be a tricky business in poems. Often the second presence of the word reduces the energy at that point as well as at the first appearance of the word. At the same time, however, repetition can accumulate the music and the feeling.
Repetition is naturally rhythmic; words are set in motion by their recurrence. Waves breaking, a clock pendulum swinging, the pumping of a bicycle – regular patterns of sound create an expectation that the sound and pace will continue. And repetition is dramatic. That a line or word – or sometimes an image or idea – recurs signals that the writer thinks it bears repeating. Unless the sound is repeated too often or goes on too long, our attention is held Each nuance of repetition has a slightly different effect.
In the syntactical repetition seen here, a sentence structure or a part of the sentence structure repeats. Syntax is the pattern of the word order in a sentence or phrase. Note the use of “if” and “you would” in the following poem:
If You Saw Me Walking
by Gerald Stern
If you saw me walking one more time on the island
you would know how much the end of August meant to me;
and if you saw me singing as I slid over the wet stones
you would know I was carrying the secret of life in my hip pocket.
If my lips moved too much
you would follow one step behind to protect me;
if I fell asleep too soon
you would cover me in light catalpa or dry willow.
Oh if I wore a brace you would help me, if I stuttered
you would hold my arm, if my heart beat with fear
you would throw a board across the channel, you would put
out a hand to catch me, you would carry me on your back.
I you saw me swim back and forth through the algae
you would know how much I love the trees floating under me;
and if you saw me hold my leaf up to the sun
you would know I was still looking for my roots;
and if you saw me burning wood
you would know I was trying to remember the smell of maple.
If I rushed down the road buttoning my blue shirt –
if I left without coffee – if I forgot my chewed up pen –
you would know there was one more day of happiness
before the water rose again for another year.
Depending on the context, repetition of a grammatical construction can be humorous, obsessive, insistent, or can portray other moods. For instance, the repetition of ten short declarative sentences makes a clipped, unequivocal sequence. Syntax has a psychological effect. Stern’s poem plays off our expectation of if constructions. If is usually following by a consequence – a then. We expect logic, but Stern steps around logic into playful and personal consequences of if. He repeats a pattern, but surprises us each time. Also notice how his couplets, though they depend on the repetition, are slightly varied throughout the poem to keep the repetition from becoming monotonous and too predictable.
When a syntactical pattern is repeated, in poetry or prose, there’s a reason. The writer wants to evoke a certain response. Sentences strung together with and and but and or have different impacts than four-word sentences. How many phrases are used, where verbs occur, what type they are – many syntactical choices are important to how the reader experiences the sentence.
Using the Stern poem as a model, write a poem that depends on the use of syntactical repetition. You may use Stern’s if-then construction, or some other syntactical repetition of your own choosing. The subject of the poem may be anything you wish, but choose carefully with an eye toward a subject that can bear this much repeating. You may utilize couplets or some other form. Remember to vary the repetition slightly to keep the poem from growing monotonous and predictable.
~ Text and exercise adapted from “The Discovery of Poetry: A Field Guide to Reading and Writing Poems” by Frances Mayes
Repetition is naturally rhythmic; words are set in motion by their recurrence. Waves breaking, a clock pendulum swinging, the pumping of a bicycle – regular patterns of sound create an expectation that the sound and pace will continue. And repetition is dramatic. That a line or word – or sometimes an image or idea – recurs signals that the writer thinks it bears repeating. Unless the sound is repeated too often or goes on too long, our attention is held Each nuance of repetition has a slightly different effect.
In the syntactical repetition seen here, a sentence structure or a part of the sentence structure repeats. Syntax is the pattern of the word order in a sentence or phrase. Note the use of “if” and “you would” in the following poem:
If You Saw Me Walking
by Gerald Stern
If you saw me walking one more time on the island
you would know how much the end of August meant to me;
and if you saw me singing as I slid over the wet stones
you would know I was carrying the secret of life in my hip pocket.
If my lips moved too much
you would follow one step behind to protect me;
if I fell asleep too soon
you would cover me in light catalpa or dry willow.
Oh if I wore a brace you would help me, if I stuttered
you would hold my arm, if my heart beat with fear
you would throw a board across the channel, you would put
out a hand to catch me, you would carry me on your back.
I you saw me swim back and forth through the algae
you would know how much I love the trees floating under me;
and if you saw me hold my leaf up to the sun
you would know I was still looking for my roots;
and if you saw me burning wood
you would know I was trying to remember the smell of maple.
If I rushed down the road buttoning my blue shirt –
if I left without coffee – if I forgot my chewed up pen –
you would know there was one more day of happiness
before the water rose again for another year.
Depending on the context, repetition of a grammatical construction can be humorous, obsessive, insistent, or can portray other moods. For instance, the repetition of ten short declarative sentences makes a clipped, unequivocal sequence. Syntax has a psychological effect. Stern’s poem plays off our expectation of if constructions. If is usually following by a consequence – a then. We expect logic, but Stern steps around logic into playful and personal consequences of if. He repeats a pattern, but surprises us each time. Also notice how his couplets, though they depend on the repetition, are slightly varied throughout the poem to keep the repetition from becoming monotonous and too predictable.
When a syntactical pattern is repeated, in poetry or prose, there’s a reason. The writer wants to evoke a certain response. Sentences strung together with and and but and or have different impacts than four-word sentences. How many phrases are used, where verbs occur, what type they are – many syntactical choices are important to how the reader experiences the sentence.
Using the Stern poem as a model, write a poem that depends on the use of syntactical repetition. You may use Stern’s if-then construction, or some other syntactical repetition of your own choosing. The subject of the poem may be anything you wish, but choose carefully with an eye toward a subject that can bear this much repeating. You may utilize couplets or some other form. Remember to vary the repetition slightly to keep the poem from growing monotonous and predictable.
~ Text and exercise adapted from “The Discovery of Poetry: A Field Guide to Reading and Writing Poems” by Frances Mayes
Frank O'Hara is another I struggle with some of his writing is spot on and other pieces I'm scratching my head. Not sure this one will grow beyond this, just an exercise that repeat is tough to get a hold on.