By the book (revised)

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bodkin
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Mon Mar 22, 2010 10:22 pm

A recording of Ros and I reading this...



(you may want to narrow your browser window so the two halves aren't too far apart)

--

(revision for less guns a la Ray)
By the book
She reads books,
this is where it all begins.
"Planning the crime of the century,"
was just a way to pass a rainy day
in the library
in Kidderminster

but here she is
leading Crusher, Sparks and The Countess
through the British Museum at three a.m.
with a silenced pallet truck.
He reads books
this is how it all begins.
He reads "Lives of The Real Detectives,"
which seemed harmless enough
while he waited for the 7:15.

The radio coughs nervously,
a glance at Constable Granger,
a nod to Dave from the Art Squad.
They've all seen the shadows moving
on the other side of the glass.
She's read: "Alarm Systems Explained."
He's studied:
"Weaknesses of the Criminal Mind"
at some length.
"Transport of Art Treasures"
"Traps -- their design and construction."
"The Great Escapologists."
"Anatomy of a Manhunt."
"Losing Yourself in London."
"Forensics for Beginners."
An abandoned factory in Croydon --
armed-police converge.
But she's memorised:
"Victorian Sewers Revealed."
And he's left
flipping the pages
of "Sealed Room Mysteries,
Volume 4."
She opens a small bookshop.
He's in there buying
"Should you Trust Books?"
They nod.
------------------------------------------
(original)
By the book
She reads books,
this is where it all begins.
"Planning the crime of the century,"
was just a way to pass a rainy day
in the library
in Kidderminster

but here she is
leading Crusher, Sparks and The Countess
through the British Museum at three a.m.
with a silenced pallet truck.
He reads books
this is how it all begins.
He reads "Lives of The Real Detectives,"
which seemed harmless enough
while he waited for the 7:15.

The radio coughs nervously,
a glance at Constable Granger,
a nod to Dave from the Art Squad;
They've all seen the shadows moving
on the other side of the glass.
She's read: "Alarm Systems Explained."
He's studied:
"Traps -- their design and construction,"
at length.
"The Great Escapologists."
"Anatomy of a Manhunt."
"Famous Last Stands."
"History of the Armed Response Team."
"How to Stop Bullets -- Volumes 1 to 33."
"Sieges in the Modern Era."
"A Guide to the Sewers of London."
"Sealed Room Mysteries."
She opens a small bookshop.
He's in there buying
"Can you Trust Books?"
They nod.
Last edited by bodkin on Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:25 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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ray miller
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 3:33 pm

A very British poem. Are you sure there is a library in Kidderminster?
This bit is great!
"but here she is
leading Crusher, Sparks and The Countess
through the British Museum at three a.m.
with a silenced pallet truck".

The Art Squad is pretty good as well.
I think some of the book titles veer into dodgy territory:Famous Last Stands,History of the Armed Response Team, How to Stop Bullets. I felt that suggesting a violent showdown was a bit off kilter, that the endgame would be purely tactical, a true battle of wits.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
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bodkin
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 6:52 pm

Hi Ray,

I think you may be right, I went that way because this was actually inspired by an episode of "numbers" which had several scenes, including a shoot-out, in a library. And we were joking about how the character's were looking for self-help books that would advance the plot. "how to stop bullets -- vols 1 - 33" is supposed to be funny, e.g. you pile the 33 volumes in front of you...

I'll see if I can rework as some sort of cat and mouse battle of wits...

Thanks,

Ian
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ray miller
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:53 pm

Ah, that's very clever with the 33 volumes.An episode of "numbers"? You've lost me there.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:26 pm

It wasn't clear to me whether this ended in a hail of bullets or in a little bookshop. (Best bookshop seduction in films - see The Big Sleep.)

Very much more of the same sort of thing that you've been doing for a while, Ian, but I'm still enjoying it. I didn't realise the significance of vols 1-33 at first, but I like it.

Cheers

David
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bodkin
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:32 pm

ray miller wrote:Ah, that's very clever with the 33 volumes.An episode of "numbers"? You've lost me there.
It's a modern dramatic audio-visual presentation from the new world...

...composed of 50% crime investigation and 50% advanced algebra.
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bodkin
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:35 pm

David wrote:It wasn't clear to me whether this ended in a hail of bullets or in a little bookshop. (Best bookshop seduction in films - see The Big Sleep.)

Very much more of the same sort of thing that you've been doing for a while, Ian, but I'm still enjoying it. I didn't realise the significance of vols 1-33 at first, but I like it.

Cheers

David
Thanks David,

"Light-hearted references to the conventions of fictional forms" is very much my thing, as I was telling my arch-rival-just-before-he-turned-out-to-be-my-long-lost-brother this afternoon...

Ian
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David
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:40 pm

bodkin wrote: "Light-hearted references to the conventions of fictional forms" is very much my thing, as I was telling my arch-rival-just-before-he-turned-out-to-be-my-long-lost-brother this afternoon...
Was that before or after you gave him a kidney?
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bodkin
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:54 pm

David wrote:
bodkin wrote: "Light-hearted references to the conventions of fictional forms" is very much my thing, as I was telling my arch-rival-just-before-he-turned-out-to-be-my-long-lost-brother this afternoon...
Was that before or after you gave him a kidney?
It was just before my drink and drugs habit lead me to the edge of despair but then a casual acquaintance, who I'd never really thought about before, pointed out that you can only live if you are prepared to dream and this lead into a short montage of recovery and training scenes before I won the Nobel Prize for irony...
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Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:02 pm

Quite right. And don't forget, children are the future. Unless we stop them now!
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bodkin
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Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:57 pm

Revised for less gun-play.

Thanks Ray!
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Fri May 01, 2015 8:04 pm

I've uploaded a recording of me and Ros reading this, see here: http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/2015/04/by-book.html
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Macavity
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Fri May 01, 2015 8:36 pm

Applause. Loved the reading.

mac
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Sun May 03, 2015 11:57 am

Brilliant, Ian and Ros. I love it.
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Sun May 03, 2015 1:18 pm

The people have spoken
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
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ChrisGeorge
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Tue May 19, 2015 5:07 pm

Ha Ha. Very finely done, both in the writing and in the performance! Much enjoyed. Reminds me of the collaboration of such writers as Adrian Henri and Nell Dunn. Clever piece, Ian.

Best regards

Chris
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bodkin
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Wed May 20, 2015 2:09 pm

Thanks Chris,

I don't think this was ever going to be a significant piece of work, but when I returned to it (after about 5 years) I was very pleased how light and fun it felt.

Thanks,

Ian
http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/
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ChrisGeorge
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Wed May 20, 2015 5:34 pm

Hi Ian

I would agree that it's no earth-rumbling piece. Rather it provides a light and witty look at how people use libraries.

Chris
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Editor, Desert Moon Review
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