Jawel Mijn*heer

Any closet novelists, short story writers, script-writers or prose poets out there?
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ioansant

Wed Oct 24, 2007 1:40 pm

He
Last edited by ioansant on Sat Nov 10, 2007 1:26 pm, edited 4 times in total.
David
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Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:11 pm

This is a great little cameo, ioan. I hesitate to suggest it is derived from life - am I completely mad, or is it oddly homo-erotic? Hey, I don't mind, I like Whitman, but I just wondered.

Just a few little niggles for you to chew on ...

Should that be Mijnheer in the title, or is this some sort of familiar usage I'm not familiar with?

In general, Dutch words wander in from time to time in a surprising manner.

Can gravitas be an adjective?

Very good ending.

Hope that's helpful.

Cheers

David
Merlin
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Wed Oct 24, 2007 9:41 pm

This is a good piece..I.

I will come back to it......

David...dont think its homo-erotic.......although it seems to have a sure kinda brotherly love.....running through it...is that homo -erotic :shock: ?
David
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Wed Oct 24, 2007 9:49 pm

Merlin wrote:David...dont think its homo-erotic.......although it seems to have a sure kinda brotherly love.....running through it...is that homo -erotic :shock: ?
Good question. I dunno, and I apologise to ioan, if apology is called for. Definitely a bit Whitmanian, though, I thought.
ioansant

Wed Oct 24, 2007 10:57 pm

I did do a comprehensive reply David, thank you. UHm however it has vanished into the depths of cyberspace, maybe it will appear in someone elses piece and thoroughly confuse them. But like MacArthur I will return and explain in full.
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Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:51 am

For my money, I say strange and eclectic...(did someone mention brotherly love...? Homo-erotic = no way). One small word: Avoid usage of writer-based prose. There are times we are unable to get into your head...so let us in. ;) Cheers!
ioansant

Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:55 pm

Thanks Transparant
It's part of a larger story so it does't comfortable stand on it's own maybe that's eclectic, odd, I don't know if it's odd. Possibly it's not what you expected to hear or wanted to hear. But you are welcome to think it odd. I think probably, like most authors, it is based on reality, with some experience, some told experiences, some, fiction with a spice of imagination, and even some wishful thinking. It seek to show the best and worst of men with a touch, or just a flick or spec of humour.

I don't know what you mean by writer's prose and not being able to read my mind. It is very straightforward, no hidden meanings, no metaphors, no similes, just a plain ordinary story of a few working guys in a strange country, and how they relate with their foreign counterparts. Very mundane stuff.

But it is intended to be easy and enjoyable reading.

Thanks for commenting on my poems too.
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