His Visitor

[Noéll]

Every night, outside the iron-grated window, a giraffe looks at him with its deep-set eyes. Under the moonlight in a pool of tears, this pair of eyes pounds the reef of his sins mercifully, gently wash his guilt away. The look from this only visitor, releases him from the shadow of loneliness.

After being released from prison, he is finally free. Every night, he gazes out the low glass window, waiting for his visitor. He waits and waits, but still doesn’t see its silhouette. His neck grows longer as the days go by. One day, his head actually breaks through the roof!

Then he realizes that the giraffe's neck, in the wake of his rehabilitation, has grown shorter.

[Antcliff]

Hi Noell, welcome to PG.

Intriguing.

Struggled a bit with this line:

this pair of eyes pounds his sins mercifully, gently wash his guilt away.

I suppose it is because of this...if the sins are "pounded" how are they.. or at least how is his guilt-...washed away "gently"? I am thinking of washing clothes in the old way..pound them with something heavy in water. But perhaps I am thinking of this in the wrong way.

Best wishes,
Seth

[k-j]

Think you've outlined a potentially great short story here... sort of Kafka does Life of Pi meets Dorian Gray...

Giraffes have such marvellous, compassionate eys

By itself though it's just too brief.

Could potentially also be a poem?

[Macavity]

gently wash his guilt away.

I liked the humanity of that.

For me, it was as if the giraffe took on the burdens and their consequences in a Christ-like way.

mac

[k-j]

For me, it was as if the giraffe took on the burdens and their consequences in a Christ-like way.

Same here, like Kafka's Hunger Artist.

[Noéll]

Hi Seth: Nice catch! I'd omitted a few words “this pair of eyes pounds the reef of his sins mercifully” .

Hi k-j: It meant to be a prose poem

Thanks for your kind encouragement!

[Ros]

Hi Noell,

We're happy to treat it as a prose poem, but you need to post it in the poetry section for that! If you put it here people will consider it as a story rather than poetry.

Ros

[Noéll]

Thank you Ros for your kind direction, I'll be more careful in the future.

Regards
Noéll