Sophie

[Durante]

I often sing of a love called Sophie;
there is wisdom in the music of that name!
It’s an opera sung to secret chords
and my Sophie is its libretto’s sweet refrain.

She is my philosophy in half-washed light
that rarely ventures to speak its truth,
but dreams in perfect silence as I sleep
in a cradle of memories from my youth.

I have time enough to grow old with her
and in her counsel alone loose fear of death;
for she will live on in a sonnet’s lines
that are only heard across an angel’s breath.

[KevJ]

beautiful. Sophie would be chuffed to have such a poem written for her I think.

[brianedwards]

Durante,

I'd like to know more about this fantastic lady and what makes "your" love special or different. The poem feels too impersonal; there are some nice ideas but no real spark. I like the idea of "She is my philosophy in half-washed light." maybe worth exploring that in more concrete or personal terms?
Also, line 10 typo: loose should be lose?

B.

[Lovely]

These are lovely your words that is.


Thank you so much you. I am in love and it hurts me. My David where are you?

"rarely ventures to speak the truth" Hope you find a way to be left outside alone
to be left outside alone a fatansy with no meaning



Today's thought: E=mc2 the maths (is easy) its understanding his mind.. What?


Love you, hate me, the anger in my heart a fade always me. Tear me apart rip,
me open, there is nothing there..........souless.But I care. I do i do I do.

see I am starting to edit slowly.

Thought for the day: I like JJ cale I also love Andy Timmons he is a friend of
mine: plays a mean guitar......wow! now my girl wants to kick me in bed, girls
Will love you always. keep that trumpet she is well.

Very moving, I enjoyed this piece.

They have asked me to play some Eric Clapton tomo I am going to a funeral
this will be hard he was a great friend of mine. I don't think "Layla" is comfortable perhaps "Holy Mother" rendition, he wrote that one before he wanted to take his life. He is a nice guy. Saved my life for what it is worth?

I don't have my glasses struggle at mo with writing


Yea "Holy Mother" I think I will stop this crying

[Durante]

Would it help if I pointed out the following: Sophie is from greek, sophia, or, in english 'wisdom'. Hence Philosophy (in half-washed light): [philo] love of [sophia] wisom, which is what the poem is about.

[Durante]

Thanks Brian, it is 'loose' (as in, say, Kipling's 'if we loose wild tounges that keep not thee in awe...)

[ray miller]

I think it would help the metre if you lose "is" in line 4:and my Sophie its libretto's sweet refrain.
I don't follow why the opera is sung to secret chords or your philosophy rarely ventures to speak its truth.
Again, to aid the metre:"in cradled memories from my youth".
Similarly, you might lose "that are" from the final line.
I like the notion of her living on in a sonnet's lines, though an angel's breath is a bit anaemic, I think.

[brianedwards]

Thanks Brian, it is 'loose' (as in, say, Kipling's 'if we loose wild tounges that keep not thee in awe...)

I see. In that case, it sounds old-fashioned . . . suits the poem though, I suppose.

B.

[Arian]

Hi Durante,

I assume this is the re-worked TLOHE. If so, it's a lot fresher now, in my view, though it retains some of the original's nice imagery. I think the rhythm of the first 2 stanzas, which is generally fluent and assertive, tends to falter a bit in s3. (You have a typo, btw - I think you may mean "lose" in L10).

I liked the idea of living on in a sonnet's lines - couldn't help thinking that it would give the piece a nicely ironic and recursive twist if you gave it a sonnet's structure (even if only rudimentary - say just the rhyme scheme and line count).

Definitely a step forward!
Cheers
peter

[twoleftfeet]

I'm getting the impression that the poet is so shy that he hasn't actually told Sophie of his feelings.
Or she may even be the ideal woman that he is yet to meet.

[Lovely]

Nice one. It hurts me. Clapton? Vai? satriani? what........? I love its sound.


Thank you for your heart it kills me but thank you. I just love you guys.

I really do. Honest from my heart. I will write for you lovely people
give me some time to suffer though: I need pain.

Do remember Keats this
great poet died when of 26 years? He has been my inspiration. He drowned
like my Shelly stoned out of his head but the gods have him now.

Such a lovely soul, my keats. Don't cry Emerson just weep weeping is good
it cleans the soul it nurtures patience gives endurance

Dave