Hello there. My name is Kpt Quack (quack for short) and i have been writing poetry, prose and songs for a few years now. I have just found this web site and look forward to posting and to critiquing others work. I feel through the opinions of others, both good and bad, we will all become better writers. salut!
Greens and Reds and organic sheds
I said to myself that
tomorrow I will change
all of the things in the world
that I don’t like.
I shall give peace to the middle east.
will take millions over
the poverty line.
I will
drop
into the ground
and replenish
all of the fossil fuels.
I may even jump
Into the sky and fix
the ozone.
Just as soon as I’ve have my cup of tea
and been given another
speech on how
anyone can change the world,
by someone
with questionable personal hygiene,
saying we don’t need big business.
We can all live without capitalist greed.
Well I like coca cola, my television is a Sony.
I can’t afford organic
and a “corporation” pays my rent.
I’ll leave saving the world
up to someone rich
with more morals.
A hello and a poem!
-
cameron
- Site Admin
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Hi KQ
Welcome to the forum and thanks for your contributions so far.
I quite like this. It certainly highlights how hard it is to be "ideologically sound". However, the whole poem is rather defeatist in tone. Surely, we can all do our little bit: boycott Macshit burgers, recycle our empties etc. (I'm an old hippy at heart.)
1st line, second stanza should read "had my cup of tea" I think.
Anyway, looking forward to more of your material.
Cam
Welcome to the forum and thanks for your contributions so far.
I quite like this. It certainly highlights how hard it is to be "ideologically sound". However, the whole poem is rather defeatist in tone. Surely, we can all do our little bit: boycott Macshit burgers, recycle our empties etc. (I'm an old hippy at heart.)
1st line, second stanza should read "had my cup of tea" I think.
Anyway, looking forward to more of your material.
Cam
Although I agree with most of your sentiments here (although I hate coca-cola), I think that poems expressing (geo-)political views have a real polarizing effect - people of opposite opinions will tend to criticise your ideas and not your poem, they'll overlook the easy style to pick out the obvious bones of contention.
If that's your intention, it may well have the desired effect; then again, you may be preaching to the converted.
A potential controversial subject - Personally, I quite like it, but it could be a red rag to some. Would be nice to know what others think of this subject.
cheers
If that's your intention, it may well have the desired effect; then again, you may be preaching to the converted.
A potential controversial subject - Personally, I quite like it, but it could be a red rag to some. Would be nice to know what others think of this subject.
cheers