Mix me a Metaphor

[Virago]

Bartender, bartender
mix me a drink
something refreshing
that might make me think.

I know, I'll have a 'metaphor',
on the rocks, long and cool.
Blimey barman, that's got a kick
it's veritable 'rocking horse fuel'!

© Justine Tennant 2006

[cameron]

Hi Justine,

This is a nice idea but the punch line doesn't really work for me.

"rocking horse fuel" sounded a bit forced. Something simpler and more obviously "metaphorical" might be better.

Good to see more of your stuff though.

Cam

[Virago]

Thanks Cam. Interesting that you say it seems forced because this actually happened.

We saw the new year in with my sis and bro-in-law and some Guavaberry liqueur last night and my sister's description of it had me howling, so I couldn't resist committing it to paper!

Never mind, I'll keep it as a blog entry then rather than a poem...

[ki no sei]

rocking horse fuel sounds rather an unique expression.

[Virago]

precisely! Thank you

[twoleftfeet]

Presumably the mix is one of "rocket fuel" and "rocking-horse sh*t"?

Could this be called a Harley Wallbanger?

[cameron]

Sorry Justine - I was being a bit dim. Mix as in "mixed". Ah ha!

[Virago]

Presumably the mix is one of "rocket fuel" and "rocking-horse sh*t"?

Could this be called a Harley Wallbanger?

by George, you've got it!

[dillingworth]

one minor problem - this is actually a mixed simile, not a mixed metaphor...

[Saul]

/

[dillingworth]

the way i see it, simile is an explicit comparison that flags itself up as such, using "like" or "as" - a metaphor doesn't draw attention to itself in this way and (i think) is composed of a tenor and a vehicle - the tenor being the thing being described, the vehicle being the thing it is transformed into in the metaphor - here the vehicle would be composed of rocking horses and fuel if it weren't for the "like".

that's my daily pedantry craving satisfied, then.

[Virago]

the way i see it, simile is an explicit comparison that flags itself up as such, using "like" or "as" - a metaphor doesn't draw attention to itself in this way and (i think) is composed of a tenor and a vehicle - the tenor being the thing being described, the vehicle being the thing it is transformed into in the metaphor - here the vehicle would be composed of rocking horses and fuel if it weren't for the "like".

that's my daily pedantry craving satisfied, then.

no, I agree, need to change the last line to get rid of the 'like'. I realised that recently. Easily done though. How about now?

[dillingworth]

that's better: now just add a colon after "kick" and you're immune from the pedants.