Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Marc
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Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:24 pm

Gray as chimney smoke
his face as broken as a
wheel without a spoke.
Suzanne
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Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:10 pm

wheel without a spoke,
a taunt string to make me dance-
ancient drum and bone.
Marc
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Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:27 pm

Ancient drum and bone
in cavern club. Digging the
neolithic mix.
Suzanne
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Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:33 pm

neolithic mix:
gin and tonic with a twist
puckered with a lime.
Suzanne
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Tue Aug 31, 2010 4:34 pm

puckered with a lime
she checked her lemon handbag
glancing down the aisle.
Marc
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Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:57 pm

Glancing down the aisle:
the loo was still occupied.
Maybe by the bride?
Suzanne
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Wed Sep 01, 2010 2:06 pm

Maybe by the bride
wild arms making shadowed signs
translucent windows
Suzanne
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Wed Sep 01, 2010 2:32 pm

translucent windows
your wide eyes a reflection
something, something.... oint.




lol.
Marc
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Thu Sep 02, 2010 10:00 am

Something, something....oint.
These crosswords drive me crazy.
Ah! A.. N... Anoint!


(Sorry, that's now pretty much an impossible start!)
Marc
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Thu Sep 02, 2010 1:55 pm

Ah... anoint me now
at last I'm white clean of doubt,
all my fears without.
Suzanne
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Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:46 pm

all my fears without
oh, that is just plain cheating
Ah! A.. N... Anoint!
Suzanne
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Thu Sep 02, 2010 4:04 pm

Ah! A.. N... Anoint!
There's a wild man on the train!
Somebody save me!
Marc
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Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:49 pm

Somebody save me!
Save me from the awful x

factor on TV.
oranggunung
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Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:15 pm

fact or ... on TV
don’t believe all that you see
cameras can lie
Suzanne
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Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:20 pm

cameras can lie
attics often hold secrets
a suitcase of dust.
Marc
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Sat Sep 04, 2010 12:03 am

A suitcase of dust.
Packing up my life so far:
I do not pass 'go'.
Suzanne
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Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:53 am

I do not pass "Go"
trapped, origami folded
waiting for answers.
oranggunung
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Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:47 pm

Waiting for answers.
Ignoring weak excuses.
“Try again”, she said.
Suzanne
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Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:01 pm

"Try again" she said
Grandma's china hit the wall
floral paper blooms.
Marc
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Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:52 pm

Floral paper blooms
in my grandmas sitting room.
"A small sherry dear?"
Suzanne
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 12:05 am

"A small sherry, dear?
Something to put you to sleep?"
Red crystal promise.
Marc
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:05 am

Read 'Crystal Promise'
written by Barbara Cartland?
Brian's favorite book!
Suzanne
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:50 am

Brian's favorite book?
possibilities, endless.
He never told me.
Marc
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:38 pm

He never told me
but I saw him on the beach
holiday reading.
Suzanne
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:26 pm

holiday reading
growling river undertones
it's just about words.
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