Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Marc
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:28 pm

"It's just about words!"
as she hurled another plate.
The pen v. the sword?
Suzanne
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:38 pm

the pen and the sword
serve two different strong masters
they cut different meat.
Marc
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:44 pm

They cut different meat.
So don't try carving roast beef
with a blue biro.
Suzanne
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Tue Sep 07, 2010 1:50 pm

with a blue biro
dark lines turn lilac in time
softening memory.
oranggunung
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Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:39 pm

softening memory
colours fade and borders blur
warm embers remain
Suzanne
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Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:47 pm

warm embers remain
on the outskirts of my heart
charred hope in ashes.
oranggunung
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Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:53 pm

charred hope in ashes
yet kindled by the debris
a spark of promise
Suzanne
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Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:59 pm

a spark of promise
anticipations brisk breeze
evergreen evenings
Marc
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Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:09 pm

Evergreen evenings
under Norwegian spruce trees,
"There! The Northern Lights!"
Suzanne
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Thu Sep 09, 2010 10:18 am

There, the northern lights
flash greens and blues across skies
waves of magic light.
Marc
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Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:29 am

Waves of magic light
fill the auditorium.
Transported in bliss.
nar
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Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:11 am

Transported in bliss
one particle at a time --
Beam me up Scotty
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Marc
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Fri Sep 10, 2010 11:45 am

Beam up me Scotty
I'll no leave wi'out me dog!
Travelling the stars.
Suzanne
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Fri Sep 10, 2010 11:49 am

traveling to the stars
'got to 'ave 30 minutes'
or it can't be done.
Marc
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Mon Sep 13, 2010 11:56 am

No it can't be done,
not rewritten yet again.
This poetry pain!
oranggunung
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Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:33 pm

this poetry pain -
stiff, astringent syllables
flagellant metre
Marc
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Mon Sep 20, 2010 1:06 pm

"Flagellant - meet her!
your dominatrix mistress!"
"Are you ready slave?"
Suzanne
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Mon Sep 20, 2010 1:18 pm

Are you ready, Slave?
Think you're ready for trouble?
You got your ticket?
Marc
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Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:48 pm

You got your ticket,
you board with hesitation.
Tundra travellers.
Suzanne
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Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:19 pm

Tundra traveller,
Siberian wolves warn you-
She is the Ice Queen.
oranggunung
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Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:33 pm

she is the Ice Queen -
if she met Mr Darcy
she’d melt clean away
Suzanne
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Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:17 pm

She'd melt clean away?
eyes rolling at the puddle
of silly romance.
Marc
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Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:19 pm

Of silly romance
I'll sing you a strange ballad,
it may change your life.
Marc
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Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:19 am

"It may change your life"
she said, lying back in bed.
Fans whirred overhead.
Suzanne
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Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:51 am

Fans whirred overhead
slow rotation of cool blades
bedroom heat steel sliced.
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