Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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lemonstar
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Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:51 am

God save King Charlie
Charlie Hebdo, satire king
You're under attack!
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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dedalus
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Location: Ireland/Japan

Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:48 am

You're under attack!
The Japs would never do that,
not in Hawaii.
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lemonstar
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Sat Nov 05, 2011 1:40 am

not in Hawaii
where flecks of light pair and kiss
behind the breakers
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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Moth
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Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:00 am

Behind the breakers,
rocks, dark shadow dependent,
stand as if untouched.
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
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dragonfly
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Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:40 pm

stand as if untouched
like the morning's pale grasses
bend with every wind
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lemonstar
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Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:42 pm

bend with every wind
flap as washing on a line
in sulphurous light
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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dragonfly
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Sat Nov 12, 2011 10:37 am

in sulphurous light
floating through the carnival
single white balloon
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RichardSanders
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Sat Nov 12, 2011 10:57 pm

single white balloon
it's shown in technicolor
solidarity
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lemonstar
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Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:02 pm

solidarity
an optical illusion
a pin can puncture
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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RichardSanders
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Tue Nov 15, 2011 11:22 pm

A pin can puncture
the thin membrane of the sane
Schitzofrenia
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lemonstar
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Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:20 am

Schitzofrenia
He never hurt anyone
Painting the trees blue

// a true story, my best (childhood) friend's father, gentle guy, wouldn't hurt a fly, misunderstood, so many funny, but somewhat sad, memories of him.
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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RichardSanders
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Sat Nov 19, 2011 2:21 am

Painting the trees blue
burying his sanity
beneath glass roses
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lemonstar
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Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:01 pm

beneath glass roses,
rice, sticklebacks and berries,
"God's own food," he said.
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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dedalus
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Location: Ireland/Japan

Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:29 am

"God's own food," he said,
pissing into a beaker --
all heads turn away.
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lemonstar
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Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:26 am

All heads turn away,
Expressionless puppet heads,
smirking to themselves.
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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RichardSanders
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Fri Dec 09, 2011 10:44 am

smirking to themselves
cowardly hiding the truth
such hypocrisy
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RichardSanders
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Thu Jan 05, 2012 12:36 pm

Such hypocrisy
to protect their sanity.
No bad intentions
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anaisnais
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:51 pm

Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:49 am

no bad intentions
constructive criticism
will help them move on
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nar
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Location: Central Scotland

Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:55 pm

Will, help them move on
end now my tongue-tied patience --
when are the lambs due?
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
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anaisnais
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:51 pm

Mon Jan 09, 2012 6:46 am

When are the lambs due
Spring must be around the corner
best get mint growing
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lemonstar
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Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:31 pm

best get mint growing
Groundwaves radiate from an
Epicentric spade
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
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RichardSanders
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Fri Jan 20, 2012 10:42 am

Epicentric spade
Sets off alarm bells deep down
The worms are moving
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Ade9173
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Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:58 pm

Wed Jan 25, 2012 4:09 pm

The worms are moving
Peristaltic exodus
Turning to the rain
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dedalus
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Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:41 pm

Turning to the rain,
the gaga dildo poet:
oomph, never again!
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Bloggsworth
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Location: Sunny Barnet

Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:29 pm

Oomph, never again
will I shoot stalking rooks
in the fallow field
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