Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:48 pm

bop diddley bop
for heaven's sake hop don't drop
big band's a nightmare.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:32 pm

Big band's a nightmare
for the shy xylophonist.
But what does she care?
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:56 pm

But what does she care
her neatly packed case and her
ice cold ignition?
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:33 pm

Ice cold ignition
sparks in the frozen igloo
Where Eskimos love.
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:39 pm

Where Eskimos love
there are no letter boxes,
pink lips, emerald eyes...
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:03 pm

pink lips, emerald eyes
the deer, fixed in the headlights
the smell of burnt tyres
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:40 pm

The smell of burnt tyres
Stunned into oblivion
No chance to survive
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:55 pm

no chance to survive -
the ice-sculptor perseveres
and the world warms up
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:09 am

And the world warms up
As if hot steam from the couch
Could solve world problems.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:32 am

Could solve world problems
like: "I don't know what to wear"
"Does my bum look big?"
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:54 am

Does my bum look big?
What does it matter, she says
She says with a smile.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:47 pm

She says with a smile
"like a huge moon orbiting
around Uranus".


(sorry, 5th form humour!)
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:36 pm

Around Uranus
the train came to a sudden

pause. Every star hung.


So delicately,
adorning the heartless void.
Filigree of lights.


It was forever.

Or not. For with a great lurch,
the haiku heaved on.
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:35 pm

Pause. Every star hung
where it was orderly placed.
Only few got named.
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Sun Mar 11, 2012 11:26 am

Only few got named
while their speaking was allowed;
she practised silence.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:21 pm

she practised silence
in between her diatribes
practise makes perfect
Lake
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:15 pm

practise makes perfect
he played ten times more than asked
an autistic boy
Aim, then, to be aimless.
Seek neither publication, nor acclaim:
Submit without submitting.

一 Cameron
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Sun Mar 11, 2012 11:53 pm

An autistic boy.
Watching coy carp in the pond.
Counting the beauty.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:22 pm

counting the beauty
she tore petals from a rose
and he loved her not
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:48 pm

And he loved her not,
so she sat down and sighed
for she missed him so...
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:35 am

For she missed him so
she bought new shoes every day.
She didn't walk far.
lemonstar
Persistent Poster
Persistent Poster
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:10 pm
Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Tue Mar 13, 2012 2:45 pm

She didn't walk far
Meek as tame Palomino
Flinching circus feet
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:49 am

flinching circus feet
inch along the tightrope wire
now you’re at the top …
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:45 am

Now you're at the top
And it's miles below you
Finally you rest.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:33 pm

Finally you rest.
Green moss growing at your boots.
Tall flowers flailing.
Post Reply