Incredulous

[Rushing Jay Hunter]

Whilst walking over Love Dean Wood
A gentle man from Belarus
Had chanced upon a travel bag
And he was curious

Oh what a shock, when opened up
For inside lay a black hand-gun.
Went reeling back upon his heels
A deadly silenced one

The operator took the call
In broken-English to explain
The circumstances of his find
His story not believed

Begrudgingly, they sent someone
Who knew for sure, that he was wrong
To find a gun in Love Dean Wood
Now then sir, come-along

[Macavity]

This has left me perplexed RJ. I can only guess at communication problems?

mac

[Rushing Jay Hunter]

Hi mac,

I was told this story yesterday - it is true - a contractor working for me from Belarus found a gun in a bag in the woods in Love Dean. On phoning the police they did NOT believe him saying it was probably not real. Eventually they did send someone, after he protested. Then they came and saw the gun and that it was real - so he was taken for DNA, finger prints and released. He did say they were polite to him before they let him go.

He does speak some English quite well.

Struck me as such a strange tale thought I'd share

RJH

[Macavity]

I was told this story yesterday - it is true - a contractor working for me from Belarus found a gun in a bag in the woods in Love Dean. On phoning the police they did NOT believe him saying it was probably not real. Eventually they did send someone, after he protested. Then they came and saw the gun and that it was real - so he was taken for DNA, finger prints and released. He did say they were polite to him before they let him go.

He does speak some English quite well.

I like the story and the way you have told it in prose. The poem had a fairy tale, once upon a time feel, that undermined the narrative. Perhaps it felt a bit jokey. I also had a disconnect in the narrative, a jump between the penultimate and final line. Perhaps add some more of the DNA/fingerprint detail for completeness. The final line at present sounds like a stagey play.

cheers

mac

[KevJ]

I found the story quite compelling. True stories are always the best. Think I'd like to know a bit more about the man from Belarus.

[bunnywabbit]

curiosity did kill the cat after all hehe I don't know exactly why, but I liked it's general feel.