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[Antcliff]

This poem is small.
Wee and weeny. Tiny, even teeny.
Submicroscopic.

Even ants must reach
for magnifying glasses, peer,
squint to find the topic -

then wonder why they bothered,
wish they were frogs on steroids,
quickly hop it.

[pseud]

Given the brevity, I'm not sure there is much to criticize.

Seems like a playful transition in a collection. I like the rhyme, and the ant/magnifying glass reversal.

If there is a deeper meaning, I'm missing it. In a western culture full of ADD and ADHD, though, I think the poem has a special significance. We're always looking for what's "next," constantly checking our phones for another update.

I thought the frog image was jarring but I think that was the intent. But what could be changed is the punctuation: a period on the end of the S2 makes it hard to connect the thoughts. "Then wonder" at the start of S3 reads more like an imperative to the reader than a description of the ants.

[ray miller]

I like the idea, like the poem apart from the frogs line, which I'm not getting the point of.

squint to find the topic.

Then wonder why they bothered

Maybe "discover" rather than "find". Helps rhythmically (I think) and bit of a rhyme with "wonder".

[Mic]

I really like it. The rhymes work very well. I do like that image of ants with magnifying glasses, and I like the concept.

Mic

[Antcliff]

Thanks, Mic,
Glad you liked the rhymes. And the idea..

Thank Caleb,
yes, I can see you are right about the full stop not helping. And yes, it was intended as a playful one. I like poems that rather jokingly refer to themselves. As you say, there is something about the world of on-linery that encourages a shortening of the attention span. Too many cakes in the cakestore. Eyes twirl.

Thanks Ray,
I'll ponder over the "discover" alternative. Frogs = they hop. Okay I could have picked kangeroos, but that may be a bit too large for ant wishes.


Cheers all!
Seth

[Macavity]

hi Seth

Playful. Maybe a thought to have a version without the self-referencing first stanza.

enjoyed

mac

[Antcliff]

Thanks Mac.

Hmm.. I'm not sure there is a poem without the self-referencing first stanza. Hmm. That feature was integral to the intention...but I will ponder. Thanks for calling by, and the interesting suggestion.

Best,
Seth

[Oskar]

Very well put together, Seth. This wouldn't be out of place in a Spike Milligan book of children's verse. The frog-based ending works for me. A frog on steroids? Yeah, that would make for a fast getaway. The ants with the magnifying glasses is a nicely surreal touch.

Compact and bijou.

Regards