Nebula (revised)

[Macavity]

revised

The roll of loaded dice within this cage.
With no retreat for sleep in tired sheets
we play the lovers' game beneath the stars.
Threading these hours until it's time for tea
and toast. And so we age with marmalade
to spread the cut that's bitter sweet all through
our day. I write to stay awake and feed
this page and pray there's meaning found in space.


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original

Rolling the loaded dice within the cage.
Threading these hours until it's time for tea
and toast. And so we age with marmalade
spreading the cut that's bitter sweet all through
our day. I write to stay awake and feed
this page and pray there's meaning found in space:

[Paula]

Oh your words rang in my heart today..finding the greater meaning in the little things, helps greatly.

I liked it very much, it powerfully sang a bittersweet song through my awareness of life and all its connections.....

[Ros]

I love 'And so we age with marmalade'! (I'm a great marmalade fan). Bit confused about who is speaking - it's a very short poem to have 'her', 'we' and 'I' in.

Ros

[Macavity]

finding the greater meaning in the little things

So true Paula.

many thanks

mac

[Macavity]

it's a very short poem to have 'her', 'we' and 'I' in.

Spot-on Ros. Duly edited.

all the best

mac

[twoleftfeet]

I love 'And so we age with marmalade'! (I'm a great marmalade fan).
Ros

Me too, but it has to be thick-cut.


Nice one, Mac.
God doesn't play dice with the universe - trust you to be different!

[Macavity]

Me too, but it has to be thick-cut.

marmalade poetry - my kind of shred

mac

[Ros]

I'm with Paddington - plenty of chunks.

Yes, better I feel with just the 'I'. Still a little confused by the cage, but it's a good image. Not sure why you need a : at the end?

Ros

[Macavity]

Not sure why you need a : at the end?

That's the creative bit Ros, beyond which lies space

[Ros]

Not sure why you need a : at the end?

That's the creative bit Ros, beyond which lies space

oh, that place!

[Macavity]

hi Ros

On reflection I've dropped the colon. After all the rest of the punctuation is conventional.

cheers

mac