Fixed

[Disraeli]

I’m a charity fundraiser,
a knight of the realm.
I move in high places,
make friends with the famous,
have tea with the rich,
whilst they polish my halo.
I’m an untouchable beacon
of establishment power.

He’s a lovable eccentric,
affable and harmless,
a role model for all.
He looks after his mum.
He gives girls a chance.
Of course they must pay
but he only grooms wretches,
your daughter’s OK.

You’re a shell suited satan,
no cigar smoking saint.
You’re a miner of misery,
a preening predator,
a white haired old witch.
You’re the arrogant arsehole
we’ve all come to hate.
Your place is in hell
we rejoice in your fate.

[Macavity]

I think the poem would be stronger with emphasis on the perception rather than the judgement in V3. The satire would be on the disconnect between public persona and reality.

mac

[Disraeli]

Thanks for reading Mac. I'm not quite sure what you're getting at there with regards to perception or how that could be satirical.

[Elphin]

Hello Dizzy

Its Saville isn't it? Not sure it stands up as a poem, event to the extent you have rhymes hate/fate and pay/OK but not in S1.

Sorry fella ... not my cuppa tea

elph

[Jackie]

These seem like character descriptions for a fiction piece. Have you considered writing it?

Jackie

[Macavity]

I was suggesting that his acceptance within the establishment and how that establishment protected him would be an angle to focus on. Perhaps some garden tea party with the Queen after being knighted for his charity fund raising efforts. Usual show not tell mantra. The I'm/he/you're variable is not working for me (V3 is especially obvious). For once, the context is known by most.

cheers

mac

[Antcliff]

Hi,
I wonder if there is something fresher than the halo/polish image?

"..whilst they polish my halo."

Difficult subject to write about. The poem summarises what we now know, but for me that is the problem. We know. What is said has been so extensively said elsewhere.

Seth

[brianedwards]

Hi Mike, I don't believe we've "met". A belated welcome to PG.
This isn't working for me I'm afraid, but it did inspire me to have a little play with a call and repeat structure.

------------------------------

I’m a charity fundraiser,
a knight of the realm.

He’s a lovable eccentric
who looks after his mum.

I move in high places,
make friends with the famous.

A role model for all,
he is affable, harmless.

I have tea with the rich,
whilst they polish my halo.

He gives girls a chance:
they can dance at his say so.

I’m a beacon of power,
a cigar smoking saint.

He's the shell suited satan
we've all come to hate.

----------------------------------

Hope you don't mind me playing.

B.

[Disraeli]

Thanks for reading, folks. No it doesn't work as it is. I was going to ditch it until I saw your post, Brian. Thanks for spending the time. It might have some potential the way you've written it. I'll see what I can come up with.

Mike