Swimming in no underwear at Uisken, Isle of Mull, January
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It doesn't matter.
Strip off, wade out. No jellyfish,
only the slightest sprinkling
of the reddish seaweed.
Your testicles may feel a certain
numbness, but that'll pass
in the refreshingly
well chilled embrace
of the shrivelling Atlantic.
After the first time out
you get used to it. Actually,
you don't, you just hoot and run
passing the non-existent tourists,
passing through the fear,
passing by your middle age, leaping
then nearly passing out
in the stark nirvana of that higher stage
of nearly invisible manhood.
Strip off, wade out. No jellyfish,
only the slightest sprinkling
of the reddish seaweed.
Your testicles may feel a certain
numbness, but that'll pass
in the refreshingly
well chilled embrace
of the shrivelling Atlantic.
After the first time out
you get used to it. Actually,
you don't, you just hoot and run
passing the non-existent tourists,
passing through the fear,
passing by your middle age, leaping
then nearly passing out
in the stark nirvana of that higher stage
of nearly invisible manhood.
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
The shrivelling Atlantic, indeed. I can't see anything wrong with this at all. An unusual experience, extremely accurately (I surmise) and enjoyably described.
I am just about to go and watch Coast Australia, which is likely to be very dissimilar from this.
Cheers
David
I am just about to go and watch Coast Australia, which is likely to be very dissimilar from this.
Cheers
David
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Very nicely done. Particularly liked the use of passing out.
Why 'no underwear', though, rather than just 'naked'?
Why 'no underwear', though, rather than just 'naked'?
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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Thanks, David
I suspect there will be also be a Manx society devoted to such a sport.
Run...leap...survive.
Thanks, Ros
glad about passing out....so to speak.
I was at the beach the other day for the first (warmish) swim of the season.
Seth
I suspect there will be also be a Manx society devoted to such a sport.
Run...leap...survive.
Thanks, Ros
glad about passing out....so to speak.
A good question, to which I have no good answer...other than by stressing Upants I am perhaps, er, focusing the camera somewhat from the start.Why 'no underwear', though, rather than just 'naked'?
I was at the beach the other day for the first (warmish) swim of the season.
Seth
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
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Brave man. I suppose it's just that I don't think of swimming costumes as underwear, so as far as I'm concerned, I always swim in no underwear.
Ros
Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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Ah, I see. Frequently I swim in my underwear, seeing no need to buy special "trunks". And since the beach will not feature many at the time of year, questions of style are less pressing. Why bother with the underwear?...a certain residual/irrational fear of the nipping powers of crabs.Ros wrote:Brave man. I suppose it's just that I don't think of swimming costumes as underwear, so as far as I'm concerned, I always swim in no underwear.
Ros
Seth
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
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Ah. That goes down less well in the local swimming pool, I've found.Antcliff wrote:Ah, I see. Frequently I swim in my underwear, seeing no need to buy special "trunks". And since the beach will not feature many at the time of year, questions of style are less pressing. Why bother with the underwear?...a certain residual/irrational fear of the nipping powers of crabs.Ros wrote:Brave man. I suppose it's just that I don't think of swimming costumes as underwear, so as far as I'm concerned, I always swim in no underwear.
Ros
Seth
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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Good poem but a few ideas:
- you could insert a comical reason for the lack of jellyfish.
- could you use a better word than "embrace"? Embrace is rather a warm word, isn't it? Would you not rather be clinched or gripped or grasped (even better with regard to bollocks) by the North Atlantic?
- I wonder about "manhood". Is that what the poem's really about? If it is, fair enough, but, testicles notwithstanding (and they don't withstand much) I thought it was more universal.
- you could insert a comical reason for the lack of jellyfish.
- could you use a better word than "embrace"? Embrace is rather a warm word, isn't it? Would you not rather be clinched or gripped or grasped (even better with regard to bollocks) by the North Atlantic?
- I wonder about "manhood". Is that what the poem's really about? If it is, fair enough, but, testicles notwithstanding (and they don't withstand much) I thought it was more universal.
fine words butter no parsnips
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My reaction to this poem was immediately mixed because it has a prosaic quality. It got me to thinking, why do I spend hours crafting my lines to develop a poetic aura? I've read prosaic poems that sounded like news articles, and this poem isn't that far gone on the poetic/prosaic scale. So I read it over and over again and discovered that it was growing on me. I finally decided that for what it is -- a casual, somewhat prosaic poem that distills a moment in time, without taking itself too seriously -- it is pretty good.
My only question is, why is the Atlantic shrivelling? With global warming, the Atlantic is actually expanding. Or perhaps that just means that the tide was going out.
My only question is, why is the Atlantic shrivelling? With global warming, the Atlantic is actually expanding. Or perhaps that just means that the tide was going out.
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CalebMurdock wrote:
My only question is, why is the Atlantic shrivelling? .
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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Is there supposed to be an implication that the Atlantic is causing shrivelling? 'Cause that's not the way it reads to me.Ros wrote:
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Not if you read it literally, no. But it's poetry, so you can't just read it literally.CalebMurdock wrote:Is there supposed to be an implication that the Atlantic is causing shrivelling? 'Cause that's not the way it reads to me.Ros wrote:
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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am loving this. I sea swim all year round so am a sucker for this material, but think your execution is perfect - succinct and tight.
I also like the no underwear - prefer this to naked.
My only quibble would be the jellyfish comment - explaining what isn't there doesn't help me see what is there. Tell me about the water - is it blue? Green? Grey - that wonderful achingly cold grey - mmmm. Still or rolling? I'd prefer to know about this (more poetically than I suggest here) than the absence of jellyfish.
Thanks,
Nicky B
I also like the no underwear - prefer this to naked.
My only quibble would be the jellyfish comment - explaining what isn't there doesn't help me see what is there. Tell me about the water - is it blue? Green? Grey - that wonderful achingly cold grey - mmmm. Still or rolling? I'd prefer to know about this (more poetically than I suggest here) than the absence of jellyfish.
Thanks,
Nicky B
I love this perspective of swimming in cold waters, from the POV of testicles. It recalls Lake Superior for me, but with a whole new slant on things.
Enjoyed!
Jackie
Enjoyed!
Jackie
Notwithstanding my acute feelings of envy at your sea swimming exploits (can I remind you of my previous poem SOS, based largely on my regret at being so far from the sea at this time of year), I begrudgingly really enjoyed this tightly executed piece.
My only quibble pertains to 'stark nirvana' in the final stanza - pedantic I know but describing nirvana as stark is in a sense tautological and in another impossible, as nirvana is by definition indescribable. I question nirvana as an adjective, but it's probably fine.
Really enjoyed this and tempted to get in the car and drive four hours to the coast - oh wait, children to teach.
Luke
My only quibble pertains to 'stark nirvana' in the final stanza - pedantic I know but describing nirvana as stark is in a sense tautological and in another impossible, as nirvana is by definition indescribable. I question nirvana as an adjective, but it's probably fine.
Really enjoyed this and tempted to get in the car and drive four hours to the coast - oh wait, children to teach.
Luke
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Thanks Mike
Thanks Caleb
Luke
thanks.....go for that drive.................run in.
Thank you, Jackie.
Hooray for the slant.
I'll ponder over possible the jellyfish reasons...yes. Possibly "embrace" could replaced..hmm. Good thoughts.
Thanks Ros.
Thanks Nicky...good to see you.
"No underwear" it is then. You swim all year?...tough.
Incredibly clear still water at the moment. I'm off to the beach.
Seth
Thanks Caleb
Good news. Thank you.I finally decided that for what it is -- a casual, somewhat prosaic poem that distills a moment in time, without taking itself too seriously -- it is pretty good.
My only question is, why is the Atlantic shrivelling? With global warming, the Atlantic is actually expanding. Or perhaps that just means that the tide was going out.
I think you will get there in the end.Is there supposed to be an implication that the Atlantic is causing shrivelling? 'Cause that's not the way it reads to me.
Luke
thanks.....go for that drive.................run in.
Hmm. Need to think about that possibility of tautology...helpful comments as always...I may indeed be abusing Buddhist eschatology.My only quibble pertains to 'stark nirvana' in the final stanza - pedantic I know but describing nirvana as stark is in a sense tautological and in another impossible, as nirvana is by definition indescribable. I question nirvana as an adjective, but it's probably fine.
Really enjoyed this and tempted to get in the car and drive four hours to the coast
Thank you, Jackie.
Hooray for the slant.
Thanks K-JI love this perspective of swimming in cold waters, from the POV of testicles. It recalls Lake Superior for me, but with a whole new slant on things.
I'll ponder over possible the jellyfish reasons...yes. Possibly "embrace" could replaced..hmm. Good thoughts.
Hmm. Yeh. Insofar as I had in mind a specific "about" I think it was about not taking yer dignity too seriously. Slightly more universal, maybe, possibly...probably not.- I wonder about "manhood". Is that what the poem's really about? If it is, fair enough, but, testicles notwithstanding (and they don't withstand much) I thought it was more universal.
Thanks Ros.
Thanks Nicky...good to see you.
"No underwear" it is then. You swim all year?...tough.
Okay, more on the water then...rather than lingering over the faint rhyme of "testicle" and "jellyfish".My only quibble would be the jellyfish comment - explaining what isn't there doesn't help me see what is there. Tell me about the water - is it blue? Green? Grey - that wonderful achingly cold grey - mmmm. Still or rolling? I'd prefer to know about this (more poetically than I suggest here) than the absence of jellyfish.
Incredibly clear still water at the moment. I'm off to the beach.
Seth
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Is it rhyme you mean? I'd say instead that they bob together—in rhythm?the faint rhyme of "testicle" and "jellyfish"
Jackie
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Jackie wrote:Is it rhyme you mean? I'd say instead that they bob together—in rhythm?the faint rhyme of "testicle" and "jellyfish"
Jackie
Ha! Brilliant, Jackie.
Seth
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
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I like the last couple of verses, the uses of passing, the invisible manhood.
Is that first line necessary? Maybe you should just jump right in.
jellyfish will never rhyme with testicles, whatever the temperature.
in the refreshingly
well chilled embrace - grip? rhymes with Atlantic.
of the shrivelling Atlantic.
Is that first line necessary? Maybe you should just jump right in.
jellyfish will never rhyme with testicles, whatever the temperature.
in the refreshingly
well chilled embrace - grip? rhymes with Atlantic.
of the shrivelling Atlantic.
Any pictures of you bobbing along to Regina Spektor's Blue Lips?Ros wrote:Brave man. I suppose it's just that I don't think of swimming costumes as underwear, so as far as I'm concerned, I always swim in no underwear.
Ros
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
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Absolutely not. Don't distract Seth from his shrivelling.ray miller wrote:Any pictures of you bobbing along to Regina Spektor's Blue Lips?Ros wrote:Brave man. I suppose it's just that I don't think of swimming costumes as underwear, so as far as I'm concerned, I always swim in no underwear.
Ros
I think an alternative to nirvana might be an idea.
Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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Heaven is a place where nothing happens.Ros wrote:Absolutely not. Don't distract Seth from his shrivelling.ray miller wrote:Any pictures of you bobbing along to Regina Spektor's Blue Lips?Ros wrote:Brave man. I suppose it's just that I don't think of swimming costumes as underwear, so as far as I'm concerned, I always swim in no underwear.
Ros
I think an alternative to nirvana might be an idea.
Ros
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
I contemplate such bitter stuff.