"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

[Antcliff]

And well paved.
So transport links were good
and gradually the road became a street.

Obviously,
houses close to Hell were not popular,
though sustainably heated. Groans

could be heard,
coming from The Entrance around The Corner.
Nobody wants that.

Along the whole stretch
people would be woken in the small hours
by drunks singing "We're on the Highway to Hell"

even though,
as residents often complained,
it was more of a lane.

Taxi drivers would only take you so far.
The pub at the end did a reasonable trade,
but "The Last Drop" had no regulars.

No cheques cashed.
No tab.
No ice.

Side streets grew up
like "Purgatory Walk",
where time seemed to slow,

where people watched television re-runs
mumbling the script
slumped in their slippers.

Those in Purgatory Walk
often wondered if it was Hell.
But the council tax was a band or two higher.

Gentrification was tried.
Part of the way was relabelled as
"Lavender Avenue"

but locals weren't fooled.
"Where's the lavender?" they asked
and, one night, the sign got nicked.

Sometimes people got lost
and ended up right at the end of the street
with no idea, no idea at all

and would fall through Satan's trap door,
shouting,
"but I was only looking for Lavender Avenue".

[k-j]

Marvelous! Enjoyed every second of it. Will be an ornament to whatever periodical it appears in.

[David]

I agree with k-j. Only bit of semi-obligatory quibbling: I wonder why you chose "Lavender" for your Avenue. Is there some sort of resonance with something else there? It's just that I wonder whether "Primrose" would be better, due to people (I think) referring to "the primrose path" to indicate something as the quick and beguiling way to ruination. You probably considered that and discarded it as too obvious.

Anf of course Purgatory Walk would not take you to Hell anyway, but in quite the opposite direction. Strictly speaking.

"sustainably heated" is brilliant.

Cheers

David

[Antcliff]

Thanks very much, K-J. I love the word "periodical".

Thnak very much, David.


Primrose is a tempting option, very tempting. Think I'll take it. I only had Lavender Avenue for the aven/aven. As you say, there is no resonance with anything else. Who knows, such an avenue might be in my memory somewhere.

Well, purgatory is a side street. I shall have to work up a map.

Thanks again, gentleman.

[Moth]

Those in Purgatory Walk
often wondered if it was Hell.
But the council tax was a band or two higher.

Brilliantly tongue in cheek. Nothing to add except I figured Lavender Avenue was kind of thought out for much the same reason (as well as the reason as you stated) and I felt it worked with the overall tone. Kudos.

[Antcliff]

Thanks for calling by, Moth. Helpful to hear your thoughts on the avenue.

Seth

[Ros]

Yes, I enjoyed this very much, particularly the undertones of

Sometimes people got lost
and ended up right at the end of the street
with no idea, no idea at all

And yet, and yet...

I dunno, it somehow doesn't feel like a poem to me. It's a great narrative and carefully phrased, but but but I want some sort of rhythm or heightened language or cadence...

Ros

[Antcliff]

Thanks Ros

rhythm or heightened language or cadence...

Well, I'm inclined to agree. (Though I am not sure what "heightened language" is.) I think that once the line break goes, the prose/poetry difference must be in some way connected to the music of the words. Certainly there was a time when I would not count this as a poem, but, well, I have given up the urge to say "but surely this is prose?". Oscar Wilde thought Browning was prose.

Seth

[David]

Thanks Ros

rhythm or heightened language or cadence...

Well, I'm inclined to agree. (Though I am not sure what "heightened language" is.)

This is a tricky one, isn't it? It's a phrase I see I used myself, recently, and Ray - like you - didn't have a clue what I was going on about, and I'm not sure I could tell him. Or you.

This, for instance - https://answers.yahoo.com/question/inde ... 212AArmwde - is no help at all.

What I actually said to Ray was "There are moments of heightened language which (I think) would stand out awkwardly as prose but are just lovely little sunlit stretches in a poem."

Then he said " I'm not sure about the heightened language that David refers to but it's meant to have rhythm, assonance, bits of rhyme and the line breaks aren't arbitrary."

Then I, highlighting rhythm, assonance, bits of rhyme and the line breaks aren't arbitrary, said "That'll be it!"

We're not much further on, are we?

Perhaps the poetry / prose debate is null. Perhaps it all comes down to whether the language is dull or not. This is not dull and, to be honest, I don't think it's prose either. It's poetry through the medium of prose. Or perhaps it's good prose, poetically presented. Or perhaps ... (your turn).

David

[Antcliff]

I don't think it's prose either. It's poetry through the medium of prose. Or perhaps it's good prose, poetically presented. Or perhaps ... (your turn).

It stands with one foot in the category of prose-poetry and the other in the category of poetry-prose.

[Ros]

I don't think it's prose either. It's poetry through the medium of prose. Or perhaps it's good prose, poetically presented. Or perhaps ... (your turn).

It stands with one foot in the category of prose-poetry and the other in the category of poetry-prose.

Yup. I couldn't claim it isn't a poem, and yet somehow for me it didn't quite seem to be one. Ok, I'm hopeless.

Ros

[David]

I don't think it's prose either. It's poetry through the medium of prose. Or perhaps it's good prose, poetically presented. Or perhaps ... (your turn).

It stands with one foot in the category of prose-poetry and the other in the category of poetry-prose. :D

Yup. I couldn't claim it isn't a poem, and yet somehow for me it didn't quite seem to be one. Ok, I'm hopeless.

Ros

No you're not!

[Antcliff]

No you're not!

Quite. I think you may well be right, Ros. When I wrote it I thought of it more as a performancey type piece than a poem.

I am myself inclined to count much supposed poetry as prose, but also be relaxed about the consequences of that. After all, not all short writing needs to count as a poem.

Seth

[dedalus]

Catchy! I caught myself smiling here and there. No ice??

[Antcliff]

Catchy! I caught myself smiling here and there. No ice??

Thanks, Bren. Too warm for ice.

Seth

[dafra]

Why split the difference between poetry and prose? I find that I respond to heightened language, language that has a multitude of meanings, no-matter the form.

I've given up on my expectations of what poetry should be to me and just accept what is served up here in the name of poetry.

Thus when I read something like this I am elated way beyond the words. They touch an ineffable nerve and I know I have read something good.

Please keep Lavender Avenue for it's assonance, a plant of dry (adjacent to hell) lands, a perfume of choice for the older middle-class lady and a ubiquitous bush of gardens which is mysterious here by its absence.

dafra

[Antcliff]

Please keep Lavender Avenue for it's assonance, a plant of dry (adjacent to hell) lands, a perfume of choice for the older middle-class lady and a ubiquitous bush of gardens which is mysterious here by its absence.

Thank you for calling by, Dafra, a fine bed of reasons indeed . I am persuaded to retain the lavender (and was in two minds on the very question). Thank you for such helpful and warm words. Hope to see you around much more!

Seth