Hungover

[jpgallagher]

It's said that getting drunk
is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

I am at the bottom of my overdraft.

My bank manager is outside, roaring,
hurling bricks at the front room window.

[David]

Nice little snapshot, jp. A short strong draught. I like it.

Cheers

David

[Beowulf]

IMO the first two lines could be simplified, perhaps as
It’s said – getting drunk
is borrowing happiness from tomorrow

also why not drop “front room” ?

[cynwulf]

Agree with David on this. B may be right about the shortening of the 1st 2 lines, but 'front room' seems needed to me, somehow important to the situation.
Regards, C.

[Macavity]

hurling bricks at the front room window.

One brick should be sufficient to smash a window. Specifying the front room locates the action.

cheers

mac

[k-j]

This is good.

But - does anyone with an overdraft actually have a bank manager anymore? The very rich but dissolute, perhaps, the odd celeb? But surely the days of the personal bank manager are long gone.

Agree that the plural "bricks" doesn't work with "window". How about "aiming a brick at the front room window"? Makes it more menacing, and slightly funnier I think.