Something Whooshed...!

[Namyh]

Something whooshed…!

On a planet, in a country, in a state, in a town,
on a street where a lampost shines
and the houses, very warm, quiet dreamers in their sleep
like a hush after church bell chimes.

Something whooshed...on the wind in the distance.
Something galloped in the lime moonlight
and its wings cut the air into slices of Fear
which it tossed in the night with delight

and I shivered with a tremble and began to disassemble
with the fright now fused to my bones.
Slices landed on the rooftops, slid across the treetops
and fell down to cartop domes.

Out my bed, 'cross the floor thru a window did I spy
down the street from that lamp lurking light,
came an eerie fog creeping, 'cross the land was it seeping,
into beds and blankets and the sleepers of the night.

Then the church bell rang! Clang! Clang!
The church bell rang! Clang! Clang!

In the cloud came the hoofbeats thumping like heartbeats
pulsing to a blood-beat time,
as the whoosh of its wing flaps turned cold my blood saps
freezing in the vessels of my mind.

Fog seeped at a fast creep crossing onto my street's
curb over lawn, more and more
while sliding past the fireplace, creeping up the staircase,
thumping down the hall to my door.

Some human headed hoofed thing, half bull-half wing,
eyes froze in fire flicking flames
just reached out from the mist, grabbed me by my arm and wrist
and pulled me, screaming, in the fog in pain.

I jolted from this nightmare, awake and free of frightmares,
gasping for some air, a wake-up push.
Rushed to my window just to breathe,
the night air filled my lungs with ease
when eyes and head turned left.....……..and Something whooshed !

Namyh

[Arian]

This has the feel of something inspired by de la mare - similar rhythms and focus on alliteration ('..the forest's ferny floor' etc).

Whatever, it's very good. You've kept the rhythm and scansion well, and built the tension effectively.

It's probably best read aloud - I imagine it would be great read to kids - in the dark, in a hushed and awe-filled tones.

Cheers
Peter

[Namyh]

Arian – De la Mare might have inspired this piece but waking from a nightmare at 2:37 in the morning actually did. When that happens, you just want to get it all down on paper before it evaporates and be very thankful a nearby menthol and rum latte helped with its retention. I did read this in front of kids who had no trouble with it and in front of one adult who needed oxygen afterward. I am proud you found the rhythm helped build the tension effectively. I worked a long time on that. Thanks for spendin’ a spell here Peter. Puts a big cheery whoosh in the day. Namyh

[David]

I'd have thought this would be one that would definitely frighten the grandchildren, Namyh.

Cheers

David

[Namyh]

David – I created this so each reader would bring his or her own monster to the dream. That way, it would be a lot more invading than anything I could verbally craft. Glad it put some cheers on ya too. As for grandchildren, today they seem so worldly so early from the exposed reality and fright programming they find on the TV and internet. Now that’s really riveting when you consider that’s where they get the visuals of death without the smells of destruction and think it’s real. It’s amazing what’s planted in a child’s mind that later comes out in an adult’s. Next thing you know, you’re writing poetry about it. LOL. Thanks David for stopping by. Namyh

[Antcliff]

Gloriously theatrical, Namyh!

I especially liked this super bit.....

"its wings cut the air into slices of Fear"

Seth

[Namyh]

Antcliff - So glad you had a front row seat for the movie’s theatrical impact. This work required visuals which made the imagination stretch and as a result made the writing stretch in line with the beat of its rhythm. For any scribbler of words, it is ‘glorious’ to be caught in such a fine writing moment when the words almost tumble out on their own, especially after waking from a nightmare to write them. Good thing my lucky yellow #2 pencil with the bite marks was close by. LOL. Very happy you especially liked this work and that quoted phrase too. I guess it kinda puts a ‘whoosh’ in both our days, huh. Thanks loads for stoppin’ in to enjoy Seth and come on back anytime for another front row seat. We’ll leave the lights and the popcorn is free. Namyh

[Paula]

yes as someone shared, its wonderfully theatrical, that is what I loved about it..