The Crystal Clear Water

[Konstantinos]

Flowing down the river,
pure water makes its' way
to find a brand new passage
which will lead to change.

The passage may turn it into red
if battle happens nearby,
thus becoming dead
in the change of time.

It may meet sweet blue waters
which with glory will lead it to the sea.
But it can find same old waters
that will keep it main stream.

It may find no passage, though
for its' bond with nature could be loose.
But it's not the water's fault in any way.
The mountain should be blamed for.

But the water will not stop flowing
no matter where the passage may lead.
Change is inevitable,
so let it flow and be.

[Ros]

I like the lyrical flow of this, Konstantinos, but the English is a bit fractured in places. This

The mountain should be blamed for.

for example isn't a complete sentence.

Ros

[Konstantinos]

Thank you for your answer. Why do you consider this line fractured? I want you to know that it's allegorical as it is the whole poem.

[Ros]

It's not a complete sentence in English. You have to say something like 'the mountain should be blamed for it.' Also, 'it's', with the apostrophe, always means 'it is'. For something belonging to something else, you just need 'its'.

[Konstantinos]

Also, 'it's', with the apostrophe, always means 'it is'. For something belonging to something else, you just need 'its'.

OK, but I didn't get this one. I know that. Why do you mention it? Is it another part you are referring to?

[cynwulf]

Greetings Konstantinos,
I agree with Ros about the lyricism, but I find the rhythm rather irregular at times. I admire your attempts at writing in a language that is not your native tongue. English is a language with strong stress system and is therefore usually accentual-syllabic in its scanning patterns ie stresses per line are often more important than a simple syllable count (unlike French, Japanese etc). Perhaps Greek has syllable counting and that may affect your approach.

Flowing down the river,
pure water makes it's way..............it's should be its,( its is the genitive case of it, it's means it is)
to find a brand new passage
which shall lead to change.

.....'will' for simple future tense; not 'shall' unless you mean it is obliged to change.
If you've learnt American English rather than English English your usage may be OK
I don't know what their style may be.
Best wishes, C.

[Konstantinos]

OK, thanks. I will edit it. And I didn't know about "shall" usage restriction. Thank you.