The Barren Land and The Magic Rainbow

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Konstantinos
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 12:10 pm

Sat Apr 18, 2015 5:55 pm

Will I build a home?
Will I just pass by?
I don't seem to know.
Neither can decide..

I reached the land
that looked a barren one to me.
I traveled so far
a forgotten place to see.

The field was pure like the sky,
until a rainbow appeared.
It seemed alive like it's first time.
What it did want was not so clear.

Rainbow, dear rainbow!
What do you want from me?
Do you need a fellow
or is it a colour that you miss?

Now limits are cleansed
and it hurts me to see.
Please come down here.
I can't fly my dear!

Will you do me harm?
Will you make me cry?
Careful with that love!
I don't want to die..
Defend yourself by yourself from yourself for your own self
David
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Location: Ellan Vannin

Sun Apr 19, 2015 6:57 pm

Hi Konstantinos, nice to read you for the first time.

When I read this, it seems more like an English translation of a foreign folk song than an English poem in its own right. I admire your attempt at this, but - forgive me if I'm wrong - if English isn't your first language, do you also write poetry in your first language?

Cheers

David
Konstantinos
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 12:10 pm

Sun Apr 19, 2015 7:34 pm

Thank you for answering. No, it's not a translation. It's only this the authentic. English is not my native language as you very well guessed, but I write only in that. I find it more easy and this language inspires me the most.
Defend yourself by yourself from yourself for your own self
Katherine
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Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2015 8:25 pm

Sun Apr 19, 2015 9:27 pm

You haven't got a place to live and wondering where to settle? Dreaming of 'somewhere over the rainbow'? But, you're afraid of rainbows?
I'm not getting this Konstantinos; sorry, I'm confused.
Konstantinos
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 12:10 pm

Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:00 pm

It isn't supposed to have a specific meaning, Katherine. It's symbolic and from a specific experience in my life. Nothing to understand here. Just a story.
Defend yourself by yourself from yourself for your own self
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