Today has been one of those 'I have to write poetry' days. Sitting in the sunshine on my swing I put pen to paper and came up with the following little homage to the too many pairs of shoes i can't really walk in that reside under my bed:
High heel, high heels
How good you look in the shop window
I know you want me to buy you, take you home
And parade around the house
Already I can feel the blisters sprouting
My corns are throbbing and my ankles are swelling
in anticipation of hours spent being crippled
For your sake!
I will resist you, that nice pair of black loafers will do just fine
I really don't need shiny, sparkly blue sequins
strapped around my feet
Oh, who am I kidding? Come to mama my little blue babies
Let me love and cherish you
Just don't hurt me too much
High Heels
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diva of reality
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Fri May 26, 2006 11:23 am
- Location: Mansfield, Notts
Amor Vincit Omnia
Hahaha, fantastic. I loved this, so much fun! It sounds like you've had a great day- the poem reflects it beautifully. I especially liked the
"parade around the house"
line. Cracked a real smile. The only things I'd ask/suggest are little nit-picking comments, but here goes:
I think it would read better with punctuation. I'd write it using capitals at the beginning of each sentence only, I think it's just easier to follow this way.
Well.. thats all I can see, sorry not to have more to say but for me it's near perfect. A real fun poem to read, be sure to have some more of those days soon!
Cheers,
AShley.
"parade around the house"
line. Cracked a real smile. The only things I'd ask/suggest are little nit-picking comments, but here goes:
I think it would read better with punctuation. I'd write it using capitals at the beginning of each sentence only, I think it's just easier to follow this way.
Well.. thats all I can see, sorry not to have more to say but for me it's near perfect. A real fun poem to read, be sure to have some more of those days soon!
Cheers,
AShley.
Hi, great poem, parade around the house, reminds me of my youth, just a couple of nits, hope this may help. AC
I will resist you, those black loafers will do fine.
Let me love cherish you and don't hurt me to much.
Let me know if you like this, just easier i think, please. AC
I will resist you, those black loafers will do fine.
Let me love cherish you and don't hurt me to much.
Let me know if you like this, just easier i think, please. AC
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merciful evans
hello diva
ive been here only a very little while. so far this shoes thing of yours is my favourite. it's clear, its open, it says something about you and about everybody.
i have an associate who has a shoes-muse he sometimes uses for his work. he has to write shoes into the lines for it to 'work'.
hope 2 read some more soon.
atb
evans[/code]
ive been here only a very little while. so far this shoes thing of yours is my favourite. it's clear, its open, it says something about you and about everybody.
i have an associate who has a shoes-muse he sometimes uses for his work. he has to write shoes into the lines for it to 'work'.
hope 2 read some more soon.
atb
evans[/code]