The Fire Escape - reflections upon a warm September Day

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Greenman
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:53 am

Wed Sep 08, 2004 6:20 pm

The Fire Escape

From here, I sit looking
Down on a world of
Late summer trees and burnished
Windows.
A dormered world between worlds,
Where Angels sleep amid a myriad
Of dying leave and coal-stained
Chimneys.

From here, I can see a
Thousand lives all going in
A thousand different directions.
A starburst of life
Expanding ever outwards
And yet, never leaving the ground.

From here, I gaze down upon
This world, like a visitor,
Starring from a train window.
Hoping to glimpse a recognisable point.
To which I can get my bearings.

From here, I just simple
Sit warming myself as the
Day goes by.


Andy Whitfield
08/09/2004 ©
Last edited by Greenman on Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
cameron
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Thu Sep 09, 2004 6:38 pm

Hi Andy,

To me, this is definitely your best poem so far. It has a far more comtemporary feel than anything you've posted to date. I like: 'Hoping to glimpse a recognisable point' as it helps to give the poem added depth. (However 'I' changes to 'he' in the next line which is a little confusing. Intentional??)

Nice one.

C
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Greenman
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Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:53 am

Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:27 pm

Camerion,
Thanks for the reply, the poem was one of the fastest I have ever written. It took only 30 minutes to get down the rough idea. I agree 'I' would fit in better. and has been rewritten on my master copy. Thanks again.

Andy......
blueknight
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Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:18 pm

I like this poem very much, it seemed to play to me lyrically like the 'Kinks' 'Waterloo Sunset'.
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Greenman
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Sun Sep 12, 2004 2:47 pm

blueknight wrote:I like this poem very much, it seemed to play to me lyrically like the 'Kinks' 'Waterloo Sunset'.
Every day I look at the world from my window
But chilly, chilly is the evening time
Waterloo sunset’s fine

Yes I can see where you are coming from ,thanks.

Greenman
Middlesex, Uk.
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