Cornwall Dream

[anniecat]

CORNWALL DREAM


I live and dream of seascapes vast,
ships with working sailing masts.
Harbour walls built so strong
it's hard to imagine the've
been around so long.

Deep wooded valleys,
narrow cobbeled alleys,
rolling hills and lechin sills,
age old cottages painted white,
are all in my minds reflected sight.


1993

[benjywenjy]

heya

Liked the first line alot, though some fo it devolves to cliche's, startling combinations of words creates the most powerfull affect...

I'm getting some of the emotion you feel about the place but not much imagery etc. because Im being attracted to the rhyme scheme...

Have you tried writing in free verse and not concentrating on the rhyming scheme?

thanks for posting

benjy

[anniecat]

hi, thanks for reading it, i have done odd stuff in the past, i'm not sure if they are what you would call free verse? i'm so akin to rhyming (old habits die hard), i must, i must, expand myself.
when i first wrote it in 1993, i had laid it out as more of a question, as to where i was dreaming about, hoping the readers imagination would figure it out, i should of mentioned cream teas, haha.
Yes i will try to be more explanitary and use more imaginative words.
thankyou. AC

[mick]

Don't be too hard on yourself AC. This is good, and your work is getting better all the time. Is "letchin" supposed to be "lichen", as in moss, or are there dirty old men in raincoats sat on them?
Good one AC
Mick

[anniecat]

Well noticed my friend, "what letchin old men in cornwall", i hope not.
Thankyou for your comment and observation. AC.