SNAP

[Leslie]

SNAP

“I do not binge drink; I celebrate!” That was always Eddie Flanger’s defence of his Saturday night pastime, if challenged.
This Saturday’s celebration had lasted until well past midnight; the clock in a distant church tower struck ‘One’ as Eddie shuffled his uncertain course through the town’s deserted shopping precinct.
The soft soles of his size elevens made shushing noises as they scuffed the paving and Eddie, humorously oblivious of the illuminated window displays, mumbled a disjointed melody in rhythm with the irregular foot flops. The deep notes from his barrel chest vibrated like the bass notes of an organ. He liked the effect it had in his fume filled head. He was a happy man, alone but not at all lonely.
Not that he disliked company; certainly not a solitary drinker. Eddie was one for community imbibing, singing and general merry-making, of which he had had his share this night. Now, with the last of his fellow revellers peeled off to their peculiar directions, he was persevering through the last half mile to home. Interrupting his untuneful singing, he gave a wobbly wave and called, ‘Good night’ to some fashionably dressed dummies in a store window. They did not respond, but in the large recess of the store entrance there was a movement. Eddie stopped and focussed his unreliable vision. There was a figure, a man, stooped toward a large cabinet in the shelter of the entrance. After calculable seconds, Eddie realised that the cabinet was a 24 hour automatic photo-booth. Since the man was not inside, but outside and leaning toward the booth, Eddie, even with alcohol-fuelled logic, concluded that the man was waiting for recently taken film to be ejected.
Auto-booth photos were usually good for a laugh and Eddie was in the mood for laughter. He ambled in and arrived behind the stooping figure just as the strip of pictures slid into the receiving frame. He chortled over the man’s shoulder, “I bet they’ll be shockers. They always are.”
Slowly, the man reached out and extracted the film, seemingly not disturbed by the unexpected company. He held the film strip so that light fell on it.
“Cor!” hooted Eddie, “Look at them eyes! Makes you look like a right devil!”
“Natural enough,” said the man, turning to fix his uninvited companion with eyes that glowed red in the shadow beneath his broad brimmed hat.
With a sudden attack of sobriety, Eddie turned and ran the whole remaining distance to his house.

[Rena Hands]

The first negative, the spacing. There needs to be spaces between the paragraphs and individual sentences.

A second negative, “untuneful” this is not an actual word. Why not choose another instead of changing the original?

The word “focused” has only one s, I believe.

I enjoyed the full story but with a combination of this excerpt, it would have made the original posting more active, I think.