Today I am bold
I could do anything
I could
stand on the tips of my toes
reach into the sky
and dress myself with night diamonds
I could
scoop up the morning birds
and wear them
singing in my hair
Today I have been bold
I have done something
I have
whispered your name
into that space which is fear
and excitement
I have
let myself
think about you
Bold thoughts
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- Persistent Poster
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- Location: manchester UK
hey Shijin
dress myself with night diamonds - a really nice image
scoop up the morning birds and wear them - a very quirky image but nice
The last 2 stanzas made me think the narrator is a little bit alienated and/or finds talking to girls difficult. It ends the piece in a good way
thanks for posting
benjy
dress myself with night diamonds - a really nice image
scoop up the morning birds and wear them - a very quirky image but nice
The last 2 stanzas made me think the narrator is a little bit alienated and/or finds talking to girls difficult. It ends the piece in a good way
thanks for posting
benjy
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- Location: Mansfield, Notts
At the beginning of this I thought, wow - empowered person and by the end it had changed to wow - obsessive stalker!
I found this very moving and quite tragic.
I found this very moving and quite tragic.
Amor Vincit Omnia
- dillingworth
- Prolific Poster
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- Location: Oxford, UK
i disagree slightly - i think maybe longer lines would make more sense as this poem is slightly conversational/monologic in style. makes it easier to read without detracting from the content. just an opinion.
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- Perspicacious Poster
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Gidday
Works for me the way it is. The open spacing of the lines adds space to poem.
The images place the time around dawn. Wow so early and you have achieved something. You must be a workaholic!
Cheers
Dave
Works for me the way it is. The open spacing of the lines adds space to poem.
The images place the time around dawn. Wow so early and you have achieved something. You must be a workaholic!
Cheers
Dave
- twoleftfeet
- Perspicacious Poster
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- Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up
I enjoyed this - a refreshingly optimistic poem.
I like the repetition of "I could" and then of "I have" which reinforces
the positivism.
Nice one
Geoff
I like the repetition of "I could" and then of "I have" which reinforces
the positivism.
Nice one
Geoff