Half a Person

[the stranger]

My father haunts me most days, he’s my Picasso dread.
His face an oblique transcript, upon unsuspecting heads.

Today he was a croupier, dowdy-slick and cool,
Yesterday he was my mother, false teeth, wig an’ all.

Tomorrow he’ll be my saviour, down the local hall
Cause bastards get 20% off, council tax an' all.

[Charles]

Heya Stranger,

I like this poem, read it yesterday and came back to it today and it improves with the digesting.

Not quite sure what is meant by "Picasso dread" - is this some allusion I'm missing, or just an image that doesn't quite work for me. The whole first verse was a bit oblique for me, it makes more sense once you get to the end and it fits together, but not sure you're doing yourself favours by confusing the reader from the get-go.

Was the Smiths reference in the title intentional, or an accident?

Just my 2p.

Again, really enjoyed.

Thanks,
Charles

[oggiesnr]

Hi,

Not sure I get the opening allusion either but if you're going there I'd be tempted to make it rhyme so l2 could read "... on an unsuspecting head".

Steve

[David]

Good stuff - S2 especially.

Wondering about that "upon" in S1, though.

Cheers

David

[the stranger]

Thanks guys, appreciated.

I shall explain:

Charles:

"Not quite sure what is meant by "Picasso dread"

Take Piccasso's finest cubist moments, then input them upon a head of your own choosing. Then imagine you don't know who your father was, then mix them up, that's basically it.

"Was the Smiths reference in the title intentional, or an accident?"

Oh, totally intentional, glad to meet a fellow fan!

Steve:

Not sure I get the opening allusion either but if you're going there I'd be tempted to make it rhyme so l2 could read "... on an unsuspecting head".

Well no, because the N's "oblique transcripts" transcripted upon a variety of heads, at the end of the day, he doesn't know who his father is, and he projects...

David:

A mere "Upon?" please explain.

Cheers
TS

[David]

David:

A mere "Upon?" please explain.

Cheers
TS

TS eh? You should start calling yourself The Stranger Eliot.

I just meant that the "upon" stuck out a bit - for me - in "His face an oblique transcript, upon unsuspecting heads" - except that I think I've just got it. Other people are walking around with your father's face on - is that it? I still think "on" might be better.

Cheers

David

[PaulDreadful]

I like this. Not because I feel I've got a handle on it, I haven't, but because I get the feeling it really knows what it's talking about. And sometimes that's all that matters.

In a weird way, this works for me like a good song lyric works. It knows what it's talking about, and to hell with people who don't "get it". If people don't "get it" then that's their problem, not the writers'. It works for it's own sake. I think there's an aspect of that in all art whether it be poetry, painting, song, or anything. If the writer conveys the impression that they know how it works, then that's all that counts. And that's not a selfishness on the part of the writer, it's just the way it's got to be. And that really comes over in this.

That's the way I'm appreciating this. It's like a little window into a mind. Great stuff.

[the stranger]

PaulDreadful - Excellent moniker, any relation to PennyDreadful?

Are you new in town? If so I'll check you out.

In a weird way, this works for me like a good song lyric works

I'm glad it does. I was as a "poet" born from song lyrics: Dylan, Cohen, Waits, Reed et al, then progressed to actually reading poets...

You've certainly touched on a point which is "modernism" in poetic writing. There are so many "labels" and poetry is so deeply entrenched in what should and shouldn't be, that i'll not go into all that, for I barely know myself...

Anyhow good to hear from you, appreciated.

Cheers
TS

[JJWilliamson]

Interestingly enough, I thought you were referring to Picasso's almost sadistic cruelty with your opening lines. He was well known for his emotional bloodletting, perversions and cruelties. After that intro' I was hooked.

Enjoyed

Best

JJ

My father haunts me most days, he’s my Picasso dread.
His face an oblique transcript, upon unsuspecting heads.

Today he was a croupier, dowdy-slick and cool,
Yesterday he was my mother, false teeth, wig an’ all.

Tomorrow he’ll be my saviour, down the local hall
Cause bastards get 20% off, council tax an' all.