Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
pseud
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:11 pm

think about the trees,
wear what you like too, "hippie,"
keep your hair that long.


(a jester-barrie hybrid)

(jesterberry...is that the name of a berry? It should be.)
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Jester
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:12 pm

think about the trees -
stood respiring rampantly.
Shady characters
Bombadil
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:14 pm

Think about the trees
that bore Strange Fruit when you aren't
thankful for freedom.
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Jester
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:15 pm

Keep your hair that long.
trees will only grab it -
shady characters
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Jester
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:17 pm

thankful for freedom
after cutting your hair off -
No more hippies here.
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barrie
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:41 pm

No more hippies here -
I mean ones that I can see.
Pass the hearing-aid.
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Jester
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:50 pm

Pass the hearing-aid.
Hear Crosby, Stills and Nash?
The swish of long skirts?
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barrie
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:25 pm

The swish of long skirts
and the whistle of short ones;
the noise of fashion.
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Jester
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:29 pm

The noise of fashion
and musically we have
the fashion of noise
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barrie
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:35 pm

the fashion of noise
popular in deaf circles
echoes of nothing
juliadebeauvoir
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:57 pm

Echoes of nothing:

Nothing, nothing, nothing, ing,
ing, ng, g, g, g......
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Jester
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:07 pm

ing, ng, g, g, g
is cheating, ing, ng, g, g,
I think, ink in mind.
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barrie
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:17 pm

I think ink in mind
colours the many dark thoughts
welling up in there
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ennui
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:22 pm

Welling up in there,
what might be unbearable,
were it not so light.
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barrie
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Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:36 pm

were it not so light
the sun would tumble to Earth
and burn us all up
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twoleftfeet
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:12 am

And burn us all up?
Quick! Get the Police to play
Invisible Sun
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barrie
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:37 am

invisible sun
on the dark side of the moon
is a paradox
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twoleftfeet
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:07 am

Is a paradox
a small Pink headache pill or
an Army surgeon?
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barrie
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:14 am

An army surgeon
always obeys the call to
arms and all the rest
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twoleftfeet
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:28 am

Arms and all the rest?
He's a lanky sawbones - there's
No shortage of limbs
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barrie
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:32 am

No shortage of limbs
claimed the Antipodean,
Jake the bloody Peg
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twoleftfeet
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:39 am

Jake the bloody peg
won't stay on - Treasure Island
wasn't worth the Op
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barrie
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:54 am

Wasn't worth the Op?
Wasn't worth the bloody cheese -
Just you ask Ben Gunn.
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Jester
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:18 pm

Just you ask Ben Gunn,
"What's it like to rot alive,
smelly article?
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barrie
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:57 pm

smelly article
is something found in 'the Sun' -
maybe just bad taste
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