The Wild Life

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Minnie
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Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2006 11:10 pm

Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:17 am

The eloquent elephant said to the rabbit,
'do you smoke for pleasure, or just out of habit?'
The rabbit replied, with upmost composure,
'peer pressure mainly through social exposure.'
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twoleftfeet
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Thu Jul 20, 2006 2:58 pm

Upmost or utmost?
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k-j
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Thu Jul 20, 2006 3:44 pm

Ha ha. Sweet. I like it. Try "responded" instead of "replied" for a better scan. And "utmost".
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Jester
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Thu Jul 20, 2006 3:52 pm

Hi Minnie. Like ditties like this. As Geoff has indicated, I think it should be "utmost", and k-j's suggestion makes sense too (could even use "the rabbit replied with the utmost composure").

Super.

Mick.
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Shepherdess
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Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:10 pm

Hi
this is Great it made me giggle and a good giggle is whet we all need
thank you
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benjywenjy
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 4:06 pm

hahaha witty and lighthearted. Pefrect for hot weather like today :)

benjy
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camus
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Thu Jul 27, 2006 11:26 pm

ha ha,

nice little ditty.
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
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me
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Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 2:44 am

Wed Aug 02, 2006 12:37 am

Well done. I can pucture an elephant in a top hat and tails speaking with a rabbit at cocktail party. I agree that it is great for a giggle. Do you mind me asking the inspiation for this 'ditty'?
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thoke
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Thu Aug 03, 2006 9:56 am

I don't like this. Nyah! It's not bad though.
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