Austin Powers Sits in The House of Paradise

[Poet]

A man of mystery and sex appeal
patiently taps on glass waiting for his prostitute
in a fancy mansion far from the English countryside
on the Scottish border, let me give a toast he said
Somewhere his boss just like M from 007
let’s him know he was doing a good job
with saving the world from Mr. Blunder
He laughs like a crazy man in The House of Paradise
Slowly came his prostitute and there she sat
Gently she smiled and rubbed his shoulder
Austin knew he was going to get laid
but where was he going to do it?
In a glittering bathroom?
On top of Chefs Table?
These places he thought were tantalizing
As usual: his genitals were bulging
through the table, the impatience he thought
while waiting for his woman to say
some last words before he starts to eat

Austin, a man of regrets and foolish desire
waits for his wife to give him the news
He was going to have a baby, but how?
He was already passed his prime
And was going to be a father for once
Mr. Blunder was going to begin his destruction
across Europe, what will Austin do?
Austin, a man of pride and maturity
Does an excellent impression of his enemy?
Joking, in his huge bedroom, he grunts
pounds his chest, (his hairy chest mind you)
And makes an ooo sound to make his wife laugh
as well, Austin believes he can make the world
a better place if he learned to love

And make love
He must set out to restore peace again to Europe
Like bond, his predecessor, he must fight again
But he must leave the House of Paradise
A place where jungle leaves, elephants, and palm
trees, are expanding all over his bedroom
Austin, trust your instincts says the prostitute
And he leaves but as naked and hairy as he is
He makes time for the kill, the art of seduction
He teases himself in the mirror, smirking and making
eye contact to the glass, what will he do now?
He wears his blue turtleneck and his retro pants
and heads for the car: an exotic Alfa Romero
Beeping the horn, he heads for London this time
Finally, he has left the House of Paradise
and is taking initiative to defeat Mr. Blunder

[CalebPerry]

Poet, I've noticed that your poems don't always receive responses, and I have been feeling bad about that. This poem provides us with at least one example of a possible reason. The poem is about a movie I never saw, so I can't really tell if the poem is good or not. I suspect that others may feel that fiction isn't a suitable topic for poetry, but I can't speak for them.

At any rate, I will try to be more responsive to your posts in the future.

[Poet]

Poet, I've noticed that your poems don't always receive responses, and I have been feeling bad about that. This poem provides us with at least one example of a possible reason. The poem is about a movie I never saw, so I can't really tell if the poem is good or not. I suspect that others may feel that fiction isn't a suitable topic for poetry, but I can't speak for them.

At any rate, I will try to be more responsive to your posts in the future.

You've never seen Austin Powers? Lmao I thought everyone had.

[CalebPerry]

It's a movie, isn't it? I know the character from outtakes I have seen. But no, I don't go to movie houses because I hate crowds. I'm the type who tells the smokers to put out their cigarettes and joints, and who tells the talkers to shut up, and being a policeman makes it impossible to enjoy the movie. When it was on TV, I wasn't interested enough to watch it.

[Poet]

It's a movie, isn't it? I know the character from outtakes I have seen. But no, I don't go to movie houses because I hate crowds. I'm the type who tells the smokers to put out their cigarettes and joints, and who tells he talkers to shut up, and being a policeman makes it impossible to enjoy the movie. When it was on TV, I wasn't interested enough to watch it.

Yes it is a movie. And wow I'm didn't think you were that type.