Trigger.

[ton321]

After the Army he got a job there. Cleaning up.
Blood from people killing themselves.

All over , he said, thick blood all over the lino floor.
It took ages to clean up. Mopping and squeezing.
He banged a girl.

He said the blood was all over. Suicides.
Mopping it all up
on a dull afternoon.

[jisbell00]

Hi Tony,

Well, thisi s a brutal vision, and it certainly lingers in the mind. I can understand how one might prefer banging to mopping. I do have a question: are all these veterans committing suicide in the same room? It makes sense that vets might use violent means (hence the blood), but they're not doing this at home? There's a suicide room, so to speak?

Cheers,
John

[CalebPerry]

Just like John, I'm wondering why all these suicides are happening in a single space. I think this could be a good but dark poem if you added what I assume is missing information to make it clear what happened.

After the Army he got a job there. Cleaning up.
Blood from people killing themselves.

All over , he said, thick blood all over the lino floor.
It took ages to clean up. Mopping and squeezing.
He banged a girl.

He said the blood was all over. Suicides.
Mopping it all up
on a dull afternoon.

[ton321]

lol

[jisbell00]

Whatever.

[ton321]

?

[jisbell00]

OK, maybe. I've attempted suicide. I didn't do it in a public room.

[ton321]

x

[jisbell00]

I just did.

[ton321]

Hi John /Caleb
thanks for responding to a terrible poem . I suppose writing it down, in whatever format is a way of coping/ processing emotion and that's the beauty of poetry in that it it encompasses all forms of these strange things we call feelings.

Tony

[jisbell00]

Hi Tony,

I agree, processing emotion is a great gift of poetry for all of us. You write a lot of good poems, that's another gift.

Cheers,
John

[Macavity]

The title, no doubt my cultural context, triggered a thought of Trigger from Only Fools and Horses (he did some sweeping). The poem interested me from that perspective.