Haiku Train

[Jester]

Hey, do I know you????
And why are you pissing in
my crocodile shoes?

[barrie]

My crocodile shoes
put some snap in my dancing.
Lacing up's risky!

[juliadebeauvoir]

Lacing up's risky;
you will poke an eyelet out
living on the fringe.

Or the last line could be: fringe unbenefits!

[barrie]

Living on the fringe,
trusting only the one hinge
to keep the lid on.

[Jester]

To keep the lid on,
set to simmer rather than
boiling rapidly

[barrie]

Boiling rapidly
cooks missionaries quickly.
Faith evaporates.

[Jester]

Faith evaporates -
Hope and Charity are left
to face the music.

[barrie]

To face the music
you must turn away your ears;
watch all the crotchets.

[Jester]

watch all the crotchets'
crotches, check them for crunches -
they're carrying crisps.

[barrie]

They're carrying crisps
instead of letting them walk.
Big fat bags with legs.

[juliadebeauvoir]

Big fat bags with legs;
describes husband's ex-girlfriends.
I can be so mean...

[twoleftfeet]

I can be so mean
Much meaner than average -
a coMEDIAN

[barrie]

A comedian
who knows how to make 'em groan -
Join the BPA.

[juliadebeauvoir]

Join the BPA??
What is the BPA, eh?
Someone explain it!

[barrie]

Someone explain it?
It's 'Bad Puns Anonymous',
specially for Geoff.

[juliadebeauvoir]

Specially for Geoff:
two left gucci sneakers
size eleven wide.

http://www.gucci.com/uk/uk-english/uk/f ... A8W20_9079

[barrie]

Size eleven wide -
Well, size eleven narrow
would just be called skis.

[Jester]

..would just be called skis
and the ones in the pictures
look right to my eyes.

[barrie]

"Look right to my eyes,"
said the spider to the fly,
"now you're all tied up."

[pseud]

now you're all tied up
in other people's business
don't answer the phone...

[Jester]

Don't answer the phone...
you might be paranoid, but
they could still be real!

[Jester]

They could still be real!
No - it seems there's no one there.
Thank God I'm alone.

[barrie]

"Thank God I'm alone,"
said God, talking to himself,
"I'd hate to be Three."

[Jester]

I'd hate to be Three.
Farther Sun and wholly spirit -
too combustible.

[barrie]

Too combustable -
Best to keep the lid on tight,
and put that fag out!