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[Arcadian]

[c90]

very visually descriptive
i'm not entirely sure what it's about though... am i missing a message, or is it just about a love for music?

c90


(http://c90.blogspot.com)

[Arcadian]

Hi C90,

welcome to the forum

My poem "Silver Leaf"

I wanted to unfold; naturally, melodically, and
gradually at first and then moving to a faster, more urgent end

it is an actual place in Nebraska USA with a row satellite dishes and can be thought of parabolic leaves in moonlight - that listen (rows of ears ) to binary stars that emit regular music pulses that were created or recorded many 1000's of years ago ( who has lived long enough to know this big hit ?) but pulses are now just reaching our ears through radio stations ( astronomical ones - a play on words here).

Big-hit tune ... is and idea of the big bang theory of expanding cosmos ( read British Genius Steve Hawking books if interested ) - and the radio stations of course is SETI - search for extra terrestial intelligence agency hoping for a splash (revelatory) on the charts (main stream media) - lol -or even better a alien craft landing ( warm jet-engines through the ice-cold vacuum )

I have extended the metaphor of "ears to leaves" ; poets often get bored sticking to one metaphor and extend for a little amusing variety.

I hope this piece falls into place now, and gives you an idea of the fun i had in crafting this piece.

Having to explain a poem often indicates it has failed to communicate to the reader - i hope mine hasnt in this instance and prefer the reader has an "aha" experience


cheers
Arco

ps and yes i do love music ( but this is another metaphor too)

pps why c90 ? ...thats an older format ....what about c120 disk format ? - LOL

[cameron]

Hey Arco,

I thought this was a lovely poem. You seem to be cooking at the moment. (I wish my muse was as inclined to get her kit off.)

I think you should title the poem: 'Silver Leaf, Nebraska, USA' to give the readers more of a chance. (In The X File they always used to tell you the location!). You could even add other information to the title. I think this will then help the poem to come across clearly. Silver Leaf on it's own could have been anything from the name of your goldfish to your favourite brand of chewing tobacco.

Cam

[Leslie]

Very grateful for the previous comments. Admit I did not fathom the meaning of the poem, not being aware of Silver Leaf and its function. Having had that explained, I read it and enjoy it. So maybe there is something to be said for a more explanatory title or hints dropped in some other way. Having to write a title that says, 'This is what the poem means' is mighty disappointing to a poet.
Any way, I really appreciate this one now, and all its clever nuances and suggestions. My ears are ever tuned and my eyes sky-alert waiting for their arrival! Are you a believer, Arco?

[pseud]

Reading it cold turkery, I thought of solely modern life. I guess it was a personal interpretation, because music is a big part of my life. I also thought the flow was pretty good, even if the end was anti-climactic (purposefully?).

Second read through (still without reading any of the comments) I was going to guess satellite radio was the subject of the poem. (How else do you reconcile cosmology with music? - hadn't thought of aliens)

Then I read your elaboration Arco. I didn't pick up on all the details, but I was closer than I thought. Wasn't right on the mark though. I guess I didn't find this poem so mysterious in comparison to your "inquisitive" poem with the working title - but it is very possibly over most of our heads.

Getting that "aha" experience is one of the hardest things, I've found. That delicate balance of describing without revealing...

I agree with Cam, adding "Nebraska, USA" to the title would be beneficial (even to us Americans). And perhaps a reference to the spinning of a compact disk and a UFO? On second thought no...But I didn't pick up on the extra-terrestrial thing.

I don't know...you'll think of something.

- Caleb