Runt.

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ton321
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Thu Oct 10, 2024 4:06 am

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Last edited by ton321 on Thu Nov 21, 2024 6:01 am, edited 5 times in total.
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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Macavity
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Thu Oct 10, 2024 8:36 am

14 lines! Great title. Liked ogled/Oled.

while I followed in his wake
I couple of familiar phrases in the lines, perhaps to ground the poem?
while I hollered/hollowed in his wake
Perhaps I have poetic tendencies :lol:
wore dead-mans' shoes
I've done that (well, a dead cousin actually)
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ton321
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Tue Oct 15, 2024 1:51 pm

Thanks Mac for taking a look and the suggestions
Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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Ryder
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Tue Oct 22, 2024 11:21 am

Nice, and a good finish.
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ton321
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Thu Oct 31, 2024 9:34 am

Thanks Ryder
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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